#01: This is Not a Health and Wellness Podcast
Welcome to Girl, Undrunk, a podcast about sobriety, addiction recovery, and rethinking alcohol culture. In this first episode, hosts Heather and Zoe introduce themselves and share their personal sobriety stories—what led them to quit drinking, what recovery actually looks like, and the highs, lows, and unexpected perks of life without alcohol. This isn’t a typical health and wellness podcast; it’s an honest, funny, and sometimes life-or-death conversation about getting sober (with a side of Diet Coke and ginger ale). Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, questioning your relationship with alcohol, or supporting someone in recovery, you’re in good company.
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This is Not a Health and Wellness Podcast: Transcript
Heather: This podcast covers sensitive topics that may be difficult for some listeners. Please take care while listening.
Welcome to Girl Undrunk, the podcast where we prioritize well being, liberate the conversation around sobriety, and share the lessons we've learned the hard way. I'm Heather Chappell, your host and sober companion on this alcohol free journey.
I spent 10 years heavily addicted to alcohol. It was my everything, my reason to live, and the only thing that could get me through a day. But just under two years ago, I hit my rock bottom. Deciding to get sober was the best and hardest thing I've ever done, but that was just the beginning. Opening up about my sobriety has shown me just how many of us are in this together, whether you're sober, curious, or just interested in what a life without alcohol looks like.
For the first season, I'll be in conversation with my amazing and sober friend, Zoe. She's cool, unfiltered, and always brings [00:01:00] an interesting perspective. And we're here to talk about everything, sobriety, shame, social pressure, self care, and all the moments in between. Obviously, this podcast is not a replacement for professional help, rehab, or therapy.
I'm just here to share my experience, have honest conversations, and remind you that you're not alone. So let's dive in, shall we? You're listening to Girl Un Drunk.
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Heather: Hi listeners, welcome to the very first episode of Girl Undrunk. I'm your host, Heather
Zoe: and I'm Zoe
Heather: and we're here to talk to you about all things sobriety. So this is the first episode. We are gonna get into some quick, rapid fire questions just to let the audience get to know us. If you know us, hey, if you don't, Thanks for listening, but we're going to describe ourselves a little bit.
Zoe, where do you live, and how long have you lived here?
Zoe: I have been living downtown Toronto for nine years now. I grew up in Oakville, moved to Sarnia two weeks before I started high school, which was Awful experience, but you know, we made it out barely and We're good now. So yeah,
Heather: I've been living downtown Toronto for six years. I moved here in 2019 and I love it I used to live more downtown core and after I got sober I moved to the west. So I'm a little more
Zoe: Wait, where did you used to live downtown core
Heather: Church and Carlton
Zoe: oh
Heather: like the Mecca like right in Allen Gardens
Zoe: Yeah, that was pretty though So you were living there during the pandemic.
Heather: Yeah. So when I, when I got sober, my counselor kept reiterating, you can't get healthy where you got sick or you can't recover where you got sick. And fortunately I was able to move. So that's not like advice I can give out. I wish I could, but it is really just dependent on who you are and what you're, what you have access to.
But moving was great for me. I like had a fresh start, fresh closet, fresh, you know what? Like fresh bathroom I'd never thrown up in. Like so good. A new park to take my dog that again, I haven't thrown up in. Like it's nice. It's nice to move if you can.
Okay. If you were to describe yourself for visual purposes. A few celebrities, one celebrity, anything you can think of, who do you look like?
Zoe: Well, I look like you, and you look like me, and a celebrity I've gotten would be Chloe from Kick Ass.
Heather: Chloe Grace Moretz.
Zoe: Grace Moretz.
Heather: Yeah. So cute.
Zoe: So cute. Is she gay as well?
Heather: Oh my god, is she gay?
Zoe: I think she's gay. I think I saw that she's like married to a girl.
Heather: Is she married?
Zoe: I haven't seen her in a long time. I think I saw like a random photo on Instagram that she was walking down the street with her Wife and I could be making this up.
Heather: Okay. Well, I hope you're not. I like this narrative about her. Yeah, so Zoe does look like Chloe Grace Moretz.
She has a turned up little nose like Chloe and it's very cute.
Zoe: And Chloe used to be my drunk alter ego name. So funny, little coincidence.
Heather: Perfection. Yes. Zoe and I both have red hair, and she does not.
Zoe: But when we were drinking, we both had bleach blonde hair.
Heather: Well, yeah, that's true. Everything is different now.
Mine Well, I know who I look like because gay men have been telling me my entire life that I look like Lindsay Lohan.
Zoe: You really do look like Lindsay Lohan, like before, like when she first came on the scene.
Heather: Oh my god, like Parent Trap?
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: I love that. Very cute, very, um, hydrated skin back then.
Zoe: Very hydrated skin before it [00:05:00] got dehydrated...
Heather: Yeah, before we all just went off the rails, all together, um, and I look, I look like that girl from American Pie, Heather, and I look like the girl from My Girl.
Zoe: Yeah, again, I don't know that is.
Heather: We're gonna have to, we're gonna have to have like a 90s movie. Okay, Death Row Meal.
Zoe: Death Row Meal. Lasagna.
Heather: Lasagna. Anywhere in particular from anywhere?
Zoe: No, but just like a really good lasagna. You know, I had a really good lasagna, like, last week. I cried when it was done.
There's photo evidence of me, like, so excited for when I got this lasagna. And then photo evidence of me crying when I finished this lasagna. Yeah. Um, I'm blanking on the name of this restaurant, but it's in Parkdale, and, um,
Heather: She's not blanking, she's gatekeeping.
Zoe: I might be gatekeeping, because it is so fucking cute, and not too busy.
Heather: Okay. My death row meal is very similar to yours. My death row meal is a cacio e [00:06:00] pepe.
Zoe: With the garlic bread. I forgot to say garlic bread, yeah.
Heather: Or actually, I think I would go focaccia bread, and I would get it specifically, I would get it specifically from this place called Pizza e Pazzi . It's this, I don't know, I've never seen it, I've never been, I just order it on the braids all the time.
Zoe: Oh, I love that.
Heather: And like, that Cacio e Pepe travels really well, and,
Zoe: Is it close to here? It must be if it travels well.
Heather: I don't know. I think it's always like a 20 minute situation.
Zoe: Okay, that's not too bad. That's not too bad.
Heather: Plus a ginger ale.
Zoe: Yep. DC for me.
Heather: Diet coke. I don't think I would do a dessert. I mean I would if I was like actually death row And I was like, let me extend this time I have.
Zoe: No, like I think I would just like keep eating lasagna until I physically could n't until I kill myself with lasagna I really want to remember I really do want to remember the place that I got this lasagna because it is an amazing spot But Zoe has the worst memory now. Me, I'm Zoe.
Heather: I do too.
Zoe: I think it must be from All of the drinking.
Heather: Like you think we're damaged?
Zoe: I think we [00:07:00] damaged ourselves 110%. Yeah, we definitely damaged our brains.
Heather: Oh my god. I've never thought about that.
Zoe: You've never thought about that?
Heather: No.
Zoe: No, we've done so much damage to our brains.
Heather: I've thought about my heart and my lungs because those are like my withdrawal symptoms like so bad.
Zoe: Yeah, the chest.
Heather: Yeah, and my stomach but not my, I never thought about my stupid brain. Oh god. Well, we're here now.
Zoe: You know, we can try to mend our brains.
Heather: I do, I do sudokus a lot.
Zoe: I don't do anything for my brain health, and I should.
Heather: We should start doing that, like, uh, There's a thing that people do. It's on the New York Times crossword.
Zoe: Well, and, what does Monica and Dax talk about on their podcast? They do some wordle thing as well.
Heather: Yeah, the New York Times crossword.
Zoe: Was it that?
Heather: Yep. Yeah.
Okay. Here we go. You ready? A Hannibal Lecter scenario. I got this from Mae Martin. I'm obsessed with Mae Martin, so this is where it's coming from. The Hannibal Lecter scenario goes like this. You are going to have 30 days where he's hunting you. [00:08:00] Hannibal Lecter's from Silence of the Lambs. For anyone who doesn't know that, and if you don't know that, pause, go watch the movie and then come back. He's hunting you for 30 days. You have to stay alive. You have one year to prepare. He has one year to prepare. Okay? He can look at your socials, he can figure out what you're trying to do. You have one year to do whatever you need to do. What is gonna be like your main plan of attack or action, not attack. You don't have to attack them.
Zoe: Ugh. You're stresses me out so much. This question.
Heather: Yeah,
Zoe: because I don't wanna do anything.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: I don't wanna survive.
Heather: Okay.
Zoe: Take me out. I'm not trying to compete with H Lecter.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: Zoe versus H Lecter.
Heather: No. Yeah. It's a crazy scenario.
Zoe: Never. Never gonna win. I'm never gonna win.
Heather: Believe in yourself .
Zoe: Not with that one. Absolutely not. Don't come with me with some spiritual quotes right now.
Heather: Would you try?
Zoe: I wouldn't try. I would, I would, I would try to dig myself a hole and stay in that hole. Yeah, and I would dig deep, but I guess if he's stalking me, he's gonna be watching where [00:09:00] I'm digging this hole. Mm hmm. God damn, I need to.
Heather: Cuz in that, that case you might, you might as well just stay in your apartment.
Zoe: Yeah, but like I like the idea of being underneath ground. Yeah I like that idea of being underneath ground and like just barricading myself in there
Heather: Mm hmm
Zoe: maybe I can put like rocks on top of me. Yeah, I'm just being safe underneath the ground But is this Hannibal Lecter like strong or something? Can you rip apart like the ground?
Heather: No, he's not strong
Zoe: Okay, maybe I'll be fine under there.
Heather: Yeah, you might be maybe
Zoe: I'll just like cement myself in there. Yeah,
Heather: right Mm hmm like build a whole bunker
Zoe: I need to build a bunker and I will stay down there for 30 days straight. And if he comes in, he comes in and take me out, but I think that's what I would do.
Heather: Okay, I like it. It's like a lot of effort in the beginning and then you kind of just chill. I would keep moving, I think. If he was coming for me, I would try to be one step ahead. I don't know if you can really do that with like a manipulative psychopath, [00:10:00] but I think I would try and keep moving, take out a bunch of money. I don't really want to fly right now, especially if it's like to the Americas, but I think, I think I would like get on a bus, get in a taxi, like hitchhike, I would like do crazy shit.
Zoe: Always be on the move. Yeah. No sleep for 30 days.
Heather: No sleep. Yeah. No sleep. No sleep. Another club. Another club.
Zoe: Another bus. Another adventure.
Heather: Who was your first intense celebrity crush?
Zoe: Oh, God. Um, yeah, probably Chad Michael Murray.
Heather: Chad Michael Murray. Classic.
Zoe: Yeah, just like he was in all of the rom coms when I was growing up and he was so hot and blonde and blue eyed and dreamy and yeah, this Cinderella story is definitely one of my top five movies. I'm gonna have to say. I do love that movie so much.
Heather: That really shocks me.
Zoe: It says something about me, doesn't it?
Heather: It just doesn't really seem like that would be her favorite movie.
Zoe: It doesn't fit, but [00:11:00] like, that movie was so inspirational to me as a young baby.
Heather: You know what my favorite movie is? Beautiful Boy.
Zoe: I love that movie as well. Beautiful Boy has my future husband in it. Do you know that?
Heather: Steve Carell.
Zoe: I mean, I would fuck Steve Carell.
Heather: Yeah, I'm into him now, but I would do it now, not office Steve Carell.
Zoe: No, not office Steve Carell, beautiful boy Steve Carell, like daddy. Like he was such a caring dad.
Heather: He also did coke in that movie.
Zoe: He did. He was a cool dad. Anyways, your first intense celebrity crush.
Heather: My first intense celebrity crush was, well, it started with Lil Bow Wow. He really introduced me to what love is like. watching him on Like Mike. Um, and then that transitioned quickly to Lil Romeo because, this is similar, because he did a song with Hilary Duff.
Um, a Christmas song. And I was like, well if he likes her, he might like me.
Zoe: Because you were blonde.
Heather: Yeah. Yeah. [00:12:00] Yeah. And just like, I'm also a girl. I don't know. I was like, maybe I have a chance, but I would think about him all the time. Yeah. And like, this wasn't like, oh, like, cute. I was like, I want to marry this man.
Zoe: Would you touch yourself to him? I can't believe I said touch myself. I'm so feminine.
Heather: Would I jerk off to him? Honestly, probably not because I think when I first started Experimenting with any kind of like masturbation. It was like it wouldn't have been anyone that I was actually into Yes, masturbation to me was like disgusting and evil. So I just wouldn't equate that to somebody who I actually wanted to be with. Also, like, I think I would have been like 12 at the time, so I don't think I understand, like, I didn't put it together. Okay, for the next question, I was going to ask individually what our rosters are, but I actually think I want this to be tandem.
So, Zoey, Who's coming to our sex party?
Zoe: Yeah, well, it should be a joined Roster because obviously we're gonna be at each other's sex parties, right?
Heather: I think so. I think that's right.
Zoe: I think you have to yeah I think [00:13:00] we should okay. So the first one we know
Together: one two three, Mae Martin
Heather: Obsessed with me Martin
Zoe: obsessed. Okay, so let's think about cuz We want a couple there so that we can know what how they fuck right?
Heather: Yeah
Zoe: I'm gonna vote for Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet.
Heather: That's an interesting one. I I know I was gonna say like Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, but I don't know if I want to have sex with Kourtney Kardashian
Zoe: I definitely don't want to have sex with Kourtney or Kylie, but I would love to fuck Travis
Heather: Okay, I guess we don't we can have like boundaries and rules.
Zoe: Yeah, we don't need to fuck everybody at the sex party
Heather: I guess not that's not like a prerequisite .So then in that case you can bring jason momoa and I won't touch him because i'm not interested
Zoe: You don't want to touch jason momoa.
Heather: No, I don't really like big big men.
Zoe: I I find that like it's not for me It's not my number one, but I do like a big strong man once in a while.
Heather: Yeah. Yeah throw you against the wall Okay, [00:14:00] is there anybody else that comes to mind? I'm trying to think like, I think it's a weird roster that we have right now. It's you, me, Mae Martin, Timothee Chalamet, and Kylie Jenner.
Zoe: Let's, let's scratch Kylie, okay? Let's scratch her. Let's add Rosalia.
Heather: Rosalia, oh, what about Dua Lipa?
Zoe: I don't know.
Heather: What about, oh, you know what? She's too young. She's too young, but Sabrina Carpenter, but she's too young and she's too straight.
Zoe: Yeah, I don't think she'd be a fun vibe. No, like she would look too perfect. You know what I mean? Yeah, like I want someone to like be able to like look messy and I feel like Rosalia would do that.
Heather: I agree. I think that's good.
Zoe: She can get down and dirty.
Heather: Oh my god. I have a really weird one
Zoe: Say it
Heather: Kamala Harris? Like, just for the vibes of it? Oh wait, this is a sex party, I forgot.
Zoe: Sex party, sex party. I don't want to watch her have sex. Absolutely not.
Heather: Sorry, you're not a feminist. [00:15:00]
Zoe: I don't want to watch her have sex. I want to look up to her. Just kidding.
Heather: Look up at her.
Zoe: Look up at her.
Heather: Okay, so. What is your current comfort show?
Zoe: I feel like I I switch it up a lot. Like, I have a rotating list of shows that I like to watch. Yeah, like repeat. Yeah. Right now it's New Girl.
Heather: Classic.
Zoe: Two months ago it was Gossip Girl.
Heather: Yeah. Oh, I never watched it.
Zoe: You never watched it.
Heather: No.
Zoe: And now you never will because you absolutely hate Blake Lively.
Heather: I do not hate Blake Lively. I just don't love the situation that's at foot. That's at foot? That's at hand? Okay. My current comfort show is Actually a podcast. It's The Handsome Podcast with, of course, Mae Martin, Fortune Notaro.
Sometimes it's TV, sometimes it's Superstore, or Gilmore Girls, or The Basement Yard. But I'm really into The Handsome Podcast. I just, I listen to them to go to sleep. I put my TV on a timer, like 60 minutes or 30 minutes, and then I just doze [00:16:00] off into their loving arms.
Zoe: Do you have a TV in your room? Yes.
Yeah.
Heather: Yes.
Zoe: I've never been into your room.
Heather: Oh, yeah. No, Zoe's not allowed into my room. There's um, it's very messy in there. I, uh, I do this thing where I just like try to present as perfect as I possibly can, but it's like there is controlled chaos in another part of the house somewhere. It's not great.
Zoe: You can show me your chaos, you know, like let me in.
Heather: Not yet.
Zoe: There's one closet at my house that's pretty chaotic and I think I walked by at my party and it was opened and I was like, oh no, no.
Heather: It's the Monica Geller.
Zoe: No, literally I am Monica a little bit. I'm becoming more like Monica every year.
Heather: Do you think you're becoming more responsible, more like uptight about things?
Yep. Okay.
Zoe: Yeah, mm hmm, and I think that's growth and I think that's good. I think it's good to be like a Monica
Heather: Yeah, I think so too as long as like you feel mentally well and not like stressed about everything all the time
Zoe: [00:17:00] No, I'm definitely not that stressed. I I'm pretty carefree about everything. I just like have Monica tendencies like I want things done a certain way Yeah, and I think that's like a control thing that we as addicts like to have control over everything.
Heather: I'm a Chandler
Zoe: You're a Chandler.
Heather: I feel like I'm a Chandler and like a Phoebe mix.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: What is your go to sober beverage?
Zoe: I'm a simple Diet Coke girl.
Heather: Diet Coke?
Zoe: Simple. Simple DC.
Heather: Yeah. I'm a ginger ale. I drink a ginger ale every single day. I love it.
When I first got sober, I was drinking so much kombucha. My sister was like, I don't think that's good for you. And I was like, girl, I was drinking three to four bottles of wine a day. I think that my system can handle a little bit of fermentation.
Zoe: Literally. I used to drink a lot of kombucha as well.
Heather: Oh, really?
Zoe: Back in the day.
Heather: Okay, yeah. Interesting.
Zoe: It is interesting.
Heather: I have a friend who got sober and when he got sober he drank 24 bubblies in 24 hours.
Zoe: So apparently [00:18:00] bubblies aren't good for your teeth.
Heather: Why?
Zoe: Yeah, I don't know. So someone came into the clinic and I offered her a bubbly. And she said, no, I'm not allowed to have those, the dentist said it's not good for my teeth.
Heather: Oh my god, is it like eroding your teeth at the bubbles?
Zoe: I think so. You're never gonna get a bubbly sponsorship.
Heather: Watch, it's gonna be something like that that takes me down. Yeah. It's gonna be like, oh, all of Heather's teeth fell out, and then it was like a whole thing.
Zoe: Well, you have that dream, right? Of all your teeth falling out?
Heather: I don't have that dream as much anymore. No. I have a lot of drinking dreams, though. Yeah. And it goes in phases. Sometimes I don't have them at all, but if there's any stress in my body, my subconscious is like, yeah, bitch, just drink it out.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: Nope. Last question before we take a little break. One skincare product you can only have one to bring on a desert island.
Zoe: So this is the problem because you need to wash your face and you need to moisturize your face.
Heather: And it's sunny.
Zoe: But you also like would [00:19:00] love a serum and you would love a retinol and you would love a sunscreen.
Heather: Mm hmm. You wouldn't need a retinol if you're gonna be in the sun though.
Zoe: No, but like You would like one.
Heather: Yeah, for sure.
Zoe: You would like one if you could wear your sunscreen.
Heather: Okay, so what's your one?
Zoe: At first I was gonna say a cream cleanser because it's a gentle cleanser that will keep your skin clean and hydrated And then I remembered Hail Derma is a thing, and I love that Hail Derma spray, so.
Heather: Hail Derma spray.
Zoe: Yeah, I think I would do that. I think I would do the spray because it's easy, and when I'm on a desert island, I'm not gonna have clean water to wash my face with anyways, so I'm just spraying my face.
Heather: Well, we're gonna learn to boil the water.
Zoe: I, we would literally die, die on a desert island. I think we, we would, we would have a few days where we do absolutely nothing and contemplate our whole lives, but I think after that we would get our shit together.
Heather: I know. I'll be honest with you. Yeah. If we were stranded on an island, I would [00:20:00] take control.
Zoe: Yeah,
Heather: I would love to take control.
Zoe: I love not being in control.
Heather: Oh, perfect. Yeah, okay Cuz I have been thinking about like the plane crash situation, Desert Island, my entire life and I would just love to take control So I got you.
Zoe: Yeah, and I feel like I'm good at following instructions
Heather: And you're very supportive.
Zoe: I'm very supportive. If you need anything, I got you. I'll go pick the berries
Heather: Perfect. Thank you so much. They're probably poisonous. We are in the middle of nowhere.
Zoe: Would you make me try the berry before you would try the berry?
Heather: No.
Zoe: Okay.
Heather: But I do think that, I do think that we could find some like fun hallucinogenics in there.
Zoe: We would
Heather: and that's just like, that's just like not our fault. We were just trying to stay alive. Um, my skincare product?
Zoe: Yes, your skincare.
Heather: It's hard because you want a sunscreen.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: You want a sunscreen or we're going to get off that island and we're going to be aged 40 years.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: So I would say sunscreen, but I think my ultimate love in life is aquaphor. Because, listen, we're gonna be in the salty water, so we're gonna get dry. So I'll bring the aquaphor. I like to put it on my entire [00:21:00] face and body.
Zoe: Yeah, that's crazy to me. I haven't put aquaphor on my face.
Heather: You don't slug your face?
Zoe: No, I haven't.
Heather: Oh my god This is breaking news. I didn't know that because you're pretty hydrated I slug my face with a nice thick layer of aquaphor every night
Zoe: So you do your moisturizer and then you put your aquaphor on top?
Heather: Yeah, I do.
Zoe: Damn. Okay.
Heather: I seal myself in and then I go to bed.
[ transition music]
Zoe, do you want to get into some sober questions?
Zoe: Yes, I do. Okay. I thought you'd never ask.
Heather: Okay, well here we go. Zoe and I are both sober, because we have to be.
Zoe: We have to.
Heather: And we're gonna let you in a little bit. On all of that.
Zoe: Yeah, I hate when people are like, Oh my god, you're sober. And I'm like, no, I have to be sober. It's not a choice. This is not a health and wellness podcast.
Heather: This is life or death.
So Zoe, what's your sober date and how long have you been sober?
Zoe: My sober date is October 22nd, two thousand and twenty :two, two two, [00:22:00] two two.
Heather: Oh, oh, two two.
Zoe: Mm hmm What's the is two a good angel number? Like what does that mean?
Heather: I have no idea.
Zoe: Yeah I thought maybe you would know about that.
Heather: Bad things happen in threes?
Zoe: Okay, so it's four. Four twos. October 22nd, 2022. So four. Okay, we might be okay then. Anyways, I, so I'm more than two years sober.
Heather: More than two years sober. That's amazing. How do you feel?
Zoe: I feel amazing, but Shit's still hard.
Heather: Yeah
Zoe: doesn't get easy. It just gets easier every day.
Heather: Totally. Yeah, my sober date is March 5th, 2022.
[ can drop]
Hi, listeners, I just wanted to pop back in and say, of course, I made a little mistake. My sober date is in fact, March 5th, 2023, and not 2022. I don't know why that's hard for me, math and numbers and going backwards in time.
[00:23:00] Anyway, March 2023. Not March 2022. ALlright, See ya!
[ sound of a can opening]
And I am 700 days sober today. Yep. So just under two years, which is, it's crazy.
Zoe: Yeah, you're gonna be two years old next month.
Heather: Two years old next month, if I make it.
Zoe: God willing.
Heather: God willing. And it's the weirdest thing in the world to look down at my app.
Zoe: We both have the sober app called I am sober.
Heather: Yeah, and it tracks your days and your Savings.
Zoe: I did not know about this part.
Heather: Zoe didn't know that it tracks your savings, but it tracks your days, which is amazing. So you can look down at it and be like, oh my god, 700 days sober. Or I remember even looking at it and being like, six days sober. That's crazy.
Zoe: Well, you had your phone in rehab and I did not.
Heather: Yes, I had my phone. Okay, yeah.
Zoe: Um, so did you download the app as soon as you got into rehab?
Heather: Yeah, like a few days into it, someone told me about it, and I was like, okay, we're all doing this then, and it was fun.
Zoe: Yeah. Yeah, I did not know that [00:24:00] that tracks your financial savings. I must have not, I must have skipped that part on the app.
Heather: Yeah, it's pretty intense. So it tells you how much you would have saved, like, with almost two years of drinking. So how much money do you think I've saved?
Zoe: I have no idea what that would be, like two, five, five grand?
Heather: Zoe, I've saved 42, 000 dollars.
Zoe: that is insane.
Heather: 42, 000.
Zoe: Wow, that's just buying from home. Imagine going out and drinking every single day.
Heather: Oh yeah, I mean I was, there was also other substances that I was buying as well, like near the end, but I really only accounted for my alcohol use. But yeah, so on average, if that's three bottles of wine a day. 60 to $64 a a day.
That's $42,000.
Zoe: We are saving so much money. Just one of the many perks of being.
Heather: It's a car.
Zoe: I love when I go out for dinner with my friends who still drink and then their bill's like a hundred plus dollars and mine's like 30. Yeah. I, [00:25:00] I feel so good about myself.
Heather: That was a big shock to me. It was like, I knew, of course I wasn't drinking, but the bill, I was like $30.
Zoe: It's a big difference.
Heather: It's huge.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: And especially because. I was always ordering so much alcohol for the table because I didn't want to drink alone.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: And then I would buy those bottles because I'm not gonna make my friends buy the bottles that I want.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: For like my addiction.
Zoe: Would you try to get all your friends to drink?
Heather: Yeah. Yeah. And I have two friends that like would kind of drink. Definitely not as much as me, but like they were fun. But in the end there, I wasn't even seeing them.
Zoe: Right.
Heather: So. What was your substance of choice?
Zoe: Alcohol.
Heather: Alcohol. Yeah. Strictly alcohol?
Zoe: That's what I would say. I definitely did a lot of cocaine, like, as well, but I only bought myself cocaine to do alone once. Um, so I feel like that's not, like, as much of an addiction than, like, I was drinking by myself 24 hours a day.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: Um, I wouldn't say no [00:26:00] to other drugs when they were presented to the, myself.
Heather: Absolutely not.
Zoe: Well, if we're already wasted, why not?
Heather: Yeah. What's an oxy?
Zoe: I think I just loved what alcohol did to me way more than what coke did to me. I loved being in like that sublime, like subconscious of like disoriented state. I didn't love like yapping my ear off to everybody coked up. Like I, I liked it sure in the moment, but I didn't crave that. I craved more of the Unconsciousness of drinking.
Heather: I'm the same way. I did other things too, and especially at the end, but Drinking was the thing that had me. Yeah, it had me on lock for sure and everything else just was like an additive
Zoe: Yeah, like I was always just thinking about when's gonna be my next drink I was never thinking about oh when's gonna be my next line, right?
Heather: Right, and that's how you know
Zoe: that's how you know
Heather: If you could go back Would you change your addiction? I would say I wouldn't change it. I, uh, it's hard because as much as I [00:27:00] wish I could tell Younger Heather, don't do that. She was never gonna listen.
Zoe: Yeah
Heather: I I don't think I Had any other Option to be honest with you. I was so depressed and I was so I had lost my identity I was a dancer my whole life and then when that went away I I crumbled. I did. I fully shattered and I didn't know, I needed something to support me. I needed to fall on something because I was just like flailing and alcohol grounded me.
It didn't, but when you're in that space, it really felt like a comfort to me and then it just went so off the rails, but it's gotten me to this place and I'm sure you feel that way too. It's like, but now I am who I am and I'm not perfect and I don't feel like I have my shit together. I talk to you about it all the time. I don't have my feet on the ground, but you said something amazing and you can talk on it too, that like my sobriety is my [00:28:00] consistent.
Zoe: Yeah, if anything, like I know that I am an alcoholic and it's taken me a long time to accept that I am an alcoholic and that I love that part of myself, and I'm proud to say that I am an alcoholic. If I know nothing, then I know that I'm an alcoholic. That's the one thing I know. I, of course, would love to change fucked up shit that I've done in the past. Of course I would want to change that, but I can't without still being myself and being true to myself.
Um, So I wouldn't take it back, even though, of course I want to, but I wouldn't, I, that's who I am to my core, if I don't have that, I don't know who I am.
Heather: Yeah, and having guilt and shame about it, and I mean, I could, I could easily be like, well, I drank for 10 years and I threw my life away. I could have a lot of guilt and shame and depression and never get out of that.
Zoe: But what, what positive does that do?
Heather: Right. Exactly. And I don't know which direction my life would have gone, and it, [00:29:00] honestly, I feel it in my soul, I would have ended up in the same place. It might have just taken me longer.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: What is something you do now that you love to do that you couldn't or wouldn't do when you were drinking?
Zoe: Honestly, I couldn't do anything when I was drinking. I couldn't do one thing.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: I couldn't do one thing unless I knew I was gonna get a drink after it, you know? I, I did something and rewarded myself with getting drunk, and then I would do something again, so I was never free to live the way I wanted to, and now I am free of that hold that addiction has on you.
Heather: Mm hmm.
Zoe: So I just feel like I can do anything and everything now. I believe in myself and before I literally had nothing. Yeah, it's a totally different. It's a 180 difference.
Heather: Yeah, I feel like I can hold a conversation now. I actually care about things. I care about myself.
Zoe: That's a big one. Yeah, that's a big one.
Heather: And like I actually couldn't do that before. [00:30:00] I hated everything about myself. I hated who I was. I hated what I looked like. I hated what I was doing to myself and what it was doing to me. Anytime I looked in a mirror, it's just such a reflection of the bullshit I was doing.
Zoe: I, I love looking in a mirror now.
Heather: I know.
Zoe: I love like being by myself now before I hated it.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: And that's why before, I could only go to sleep if I had a TV show on to distract me from my thoughts because I knew I was a horrible person. I knew I was ruining relationships. Everything in my sight I ruined back in the day and now it's just so much peace and clarity.
Heather: Yeah, it's really nice to wake up without the guilt or the like fear, anxiety of like, what did I do? What did I say?
Zoe: Oh my god, the amount of times that we both were very active on our phones when we were drinking. Very active. And the next day I would throw my phone across the room and have to chug a bottle. To be able to have the courage to look at my phone from the night [00:31:00] before and then the spiral begins again and that's a Cycle that happens.
Heather: Oh, yeah, and this is the thing like Drinking once once alcohol touched my mouth. I'm on the phone. I'm on FaceTime. I'm calling everybody. I know I'm texting men I'm texting men on hinge.
Zoe: I'm yeah texting men I don't know to come over and fuck me like what?
Heather: Vile things, like really just not caring. That, that I'm so glad is over to be honest. The like, what did I say? I wake up sometimes and I, I'm like, what'd I do?
Zoe: No, I still wake up scared that I didn't graduate university.
Heather: Okay.
Zoe: I've been out of university for like, what, six years now?! That's crazy.
Heather: It is. It's that like that fear. It follows you, that anxiety.
Zoe: Yeah
Heather: but it's so nice. Then you have like a moment of clarity. No, I'm good to go. I did nothing.
Zoe: Even when I have the sober dreams, I wake up and I am filled with guilt and shame.
Heather: Oh, the drinking dreams.
Zoe: Yeah, it takes me probably like five minutes to [00:32:00] realize, Oh, it's not a, it's just a dream, and I don't need to apologize to anybody, and I'm fine.
Heather: Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. So nice. But it is, it is wild.
[ transition music]
Now that we've gone through some rapid fire things, let's get a little more personal. Let's get a little more reflective, shall we?
Zoe: Get to know me a little bit more.
Heather: Yeah, so a real hard one. I don't know. How did we meet?
Zoe: So you walk into the clinic that I'm working at. It's a skincare clinic and You tell us that you have a health spendings account for skincare and immediately I'm like, oh, I'm gonna like this girl She's gonna come in once a month for her facials and I'm gonna love her.
She's gonna be easy. I'll get to know her It'll be good.
Heather: Mm hmm
Zoe: And then I found out that you were sober and I had to tell you like, hey, I'm sober too. And as soon as I told you that I was sober too, I feel like we instantly hit it off [00:33:00] and just started talking about everything and everything.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: Anything and everything. And it took us a while to go on our first date. Yeah. I will be real.
Heather: Yeah. And that was me.
Zoe: And that was you. But I could have been more persistent, maybe.
Heather: Yeah, but we didn't know each other.
Zoe: We didn't know each other.
Heather: You didn't know what I needed.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: When I, when I, Walked into that clinic. I'll be super honest. I, first of all, I couldn't figure I just had bought a car. And I couldn't figure out the parking and so I was very worried that I was going to get towed. So I walked in pretty stressed out and I saw you and I was like, Oh, perfect. Like your face is so, okay, if you don't know Zoe, Zoe's face is very tight to her skeleton. And it's so nice. And I was like, Oh my god, she's so cool. She probably gonna hate me, whatever. I was so nervous about everything. I went I got my facial with Mel. And I was telling her that I was sober. And I asked, I was like, What does the girl at the front do to her face? Does she have Botox. And she's like, No, that's just her face and we're all jealous.
I was like, oh my god, okay, I gotta do that.
Zoe: I knew you guys talked about me in the room. I knew you [00:34:00] guys talked about me in the room.
Heather: I'm always talking about you in the room. It's my favorite thing. And then when I came out, I don't know if I said something about being sober, and then you said you're sober.
And I was like, why? I was like, did you have to get sober? Like, what happened? And then you said something. Yeah. I'm just like, I want to get right in there. Like, do you have to? What's wrong with you? Like, what did you do, you know? And I, I really think that that is like, I mean it is, it's like the source of our friendship was just that we were both sober.
We didn't get sober together, we didn't know each other before, it was like we met and it didn't really matter who we were, it's like we had that sober connection and I immediately was like, okay, I'm here for this girl.
If you can pinpoint one general reason for your drinking, what would you say?
Zoe: I think I just felt like I didn't, like, belong anywhere. I didn't have, like, a sense of self because I didn't feel I'm not gonna say I didn't feel loved, but I just like felt awkward at [00:35:00] all times of my life. And I just like wanted to fit in and I felt like I couldn't fit in anywhere. Um, and I think that's why I, I started drinking and that's why I immediately liked it because it took me out of myself.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: And I really, really needed that. Um. Yeah, support and I don't know why I just got a little emotional.
Heather: No, I did too, I did too. Because I also think that you and me are good friends, but we don't, we talk about everything through a sober lens together, but we don't necessarily know everything about each other's stories. It's easy to say like, oh yeah, I like fell asleep on the street, or like pissed on this person, or I like, you know, threw up all over here, passed out here, broke my arm. The actual meat of it. Yeah, it is hard
Zoe: and it is vulnerable too. Yeah, that's I think why I started drinking and when I found that as a source of comfort I just [00:36:00] stuck to that and I knew it was a problem. I knew I didn't drink like other people but I liked That I was different and I liked that I was like more fun than everybody like fuck everybody else I can drink more than everyone. I can be the life of the party. These people can't keep up with me I'm too cool. Whatever it was and it just became like a deathly cycle and continued for far too long and Got to a point where I really had to question what I was doing. And I tried multiple ways to stop drinking like how I was. I never wanted to be sober, but that's not possible for alcoholics or addicts. You can't limit yourself, really. I tried to limit myself.
Heather: Yeah, the reason that Drinking got me is because it filled this void where I just fully wasn't enough ever. I don't think I've ever felt like I've I'm enough for anybody [00:37:00] or myself and Drinking did a thing where it didn't make me feel like I was enough, but it made me feel fine that I wasn't
Zoe: Yeah
Heather: You know,
Zoe: yeah,
Heather: I think losing my identity as a Dancer, which was my whole life. I mean, I had teachers tell me like, what else do you do? You just dance. And I'm like, yeah, bro. That's what I do. And when I lost that, I didn't know who I was. I was Heather the Dancer. I was in New York. That's what I
Zoe: how old were you at that point?
Heather: I was 22. Yeah. I mean, I had been drinking already, but once it really was a depression thing, I was like 22, 21, 22. And I just like, I couldn't, I couldn't live Feeling like I wasn't enough every day. It was so exhausting and I was like, when I drink, I can breathe, I can, my body relaxes and I'm like, I'm allowed to be here now.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: That's what it felt like. Yeah. Why did you get sober?
Zoe: I got sober because I needed to and I wanted to finally, I didn't know [00:38:00] I needed to get sober. I just didn't want to die. I went to rehab and I didn't realize that I wasn't gonna be drinking for the rest of my life.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: I just didn't want to die.
Heather: That's my favorite part about your recovery story is the first, well it's not my favorite part, but it is one of the things that you went into rehab not really thinking this was a forever commitment.
Zoe: No, I just like literally didn't have anything else to do. I tried the therapy. I tried virtually everything and nothing was helping me. Like I wasn't trying to be sober. I was just trying to stop drinking to the point of death every time.
Heather: Yeah, and you can come kind of compartmentalize that in your head where you're like, you know There's a world in which I can still drink this what I'm doing now just isn't working.
Zoe: Yeah, exactly. Us as alcoholics, we're very good at like manipulating the situation and being like, oh, no, it's fine Like I can still drink though. Like I just can't drink that much.
Heather: [00:39:00] Manipulating our own situation. Like my first AA meeting ever I was on Zoom, no video, no mic, and I listened to people talk and this was probably like six months before I got sober.
Zoe: Did you, you did that before going into rehab? Yeah. I did that once too, but for my court date, so different reason.
Heather: Oh, you had to go?
Zoe: No, I just thought it would be like a good to tell the judge that I went to AA.
Heather: Yeah. Yeah. Was it?
Zoe: I don't think it mattered. I still got the sentence. I was going to get it either way.
Heather: Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah. I think I left a little early. And then I, I, Rewarded myself with a bottle of wine.
Zoe: Yeah, I think I did the same thing.
Heather: Oh, yeah Yeah, cuz it feels like a step forward and then in that way my brain was like, well you did that So that's actually good. You're doing all the right things So now you can drink and then next week. We'll just you know, try it again and never went back But it's but it is so
Zoe: So true to alcoholics and the people who don't [00:40:00] understand think it's It's absolutely psychotic and insane of us to do, but I know that everyone else who isn't a true addict will think that we are absolutely insane.
Heather: Oh, yeah.
Zoe: And trust me, we know that we are.
Heather: We are experts in our own, you know, mania. Yeah. We know exactly what's going on. Um, okay. How did you get sober? And how are you currently recovering?
Zoe: Well, fortunately, my parents could support me to go to rehab. Um, they were pushing me to go to rehab for maybe Like probably multiple years before I actually asked them to go
Heather: Because at this time you were living with your parents, right?
Zoe: Yeah But even when I started drinking Heather at like 14 15 my parents saw me when I was living there and they knew that I Never drank like a normal person.
Heather: Okay, even at that age you were drinking more than other people?
Zoe: 100 percent
Heather: Wow. Yeah interesting
Zoe: Yeah, and then when I moved to the city when I was [00:41:00] 17 They would come visit me and they would see me and see the state of my condo and see the state of myself And they would know that I wasn't doing well, you know And when they would come to see me then they would like offer support and offer therapy and offer things. I never took it I was like no guys, I'm fine. So like they always knew that I was like an alcoholic Way before I knew I was an alcoholic.
Heather: And what are you doing now to recover?
Zoe: I am going to meetings at least once a week now.
Heather: CA.
Zoe: CA meetings. Yeah, I go at least once a week now, but when I first got out of rehab, I was going probably four to five times a week.
Heather: Oh wow.
Zoe: To meetings, yeah.
Heather: Was that recommended?
Zoe: No, I just had like nothing else to do. So I was going to meetings.
Heather: I know a few other people who got sober and then... meetings every day.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: I was like, whoa, I don't have that effort. Yeah. It's good. It gives you something to do. It gives you people to go [00:42:00] see. I, I got sober because, yeah, I, Oh, it's so hard because I like can put myself back in that situation and I'm like, I don't want to get fucking sober like I really didn't want to I knew I had to like I knew very well that walking into rehab, that was it.
Zoe: Yeah, you weren't gonna drink again. You knew that that was that.
Heather: Yeah, I was afraid I was going to but I knew what this meant.
Zoe: Like, yeah, you had to do.
Heather: Yeah. Yeah. I went to rehab. I was originally supposed to go for four weeks. And then they wanted me to stay for 90 days. In hindsight, I'm like that was a money grab.
Zoe: Yeah
Heather: but I did feel like after four weeks it wasn't long enough and I was terrified to go home and When I got out I went to I think I went to an AA meeting a few weeks later because there was a woman a speaker that would come to our rehab all the time and she was speaking at Jane and Finch, but it just never really Was my thing [00:43:00] In rehab, we didn't do 12 step. Like we went to AA and CA once a week, But the basis of our rehab like had nothing to do with 12 step
Zoe: So you would get come out of your rehab and go to a meeting once a week?
Heather: Yeah
Zoe: would they come to your no?
Heather: No, they would take us. This man would come in from NA and he would come talk to us And then we would go to CA and AA, like Monday and Wednesdays. Um, but during our classes, like we had six hours of class a day. It wasn't 12 step based. What it was, I have a binder, they call it the 30, 000 binder. Did you get one?
Zoe: I got a binder.
Heather: Yeah, it's like worksheets and all of this information and I do go through it. I like it because I've also been Things have been better since I got sober, definitely for sure, a hundred percent. My anxiety is still so intense and it shocks me how intense it is. So I just open up that binder and I start reading through things and it really does ground me and it helps me.
Zoe: That's funny. I've never opened up my binder.
Heather: Yeah, well, but you go to [00:44:00] AA or you go to CA. Yeah, so I, yeah, and I don't, and I, I really like it. I also feel like I went the other way a little bit where I was like, I'm just gonna stay home. I'm safe in my house. I will not drink if I'm here, you know?
Zoe: Yeah, I think that my rehab wasn't 12 step based, but we had 12 step options.
Heather: Okay. Yeah,
Zoe: and we never left our rehab to go to a meeting.
Heather: Never. Really?
Zoe: Never.
Heather: Wow. Yeah. They didn't trust you.
Zoe: They didn't trust us. They would bring people in.
Heather: Okay. Yeah.
Zoe: To do a meeting at the rehab.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: Yeah. It just wasn't, it wasn't a thing I felt I needed. There have been things. There have been times I had a friend relapse and I went to AA like three times that week because I was just feeling so vulnerable and uncomfortable, but it's not part of my recovery.
Zoe: It's not part of your every day. No.
[ musical transition]
Heather: This is a good one. Okay. What piece of advice, if any. Would [00:45:00] you give to your past self on day one of sobriety?
Zoe: God, I don't even remember day one of sobriety. God, I think I got, day one I was waiting for my parents to come bring me to rehab.
Heather: Mm hmm.
Zoe: Um, I was just like hungover on my couch. I think because I had lost my debit card. I lost my whole wallet. I lost my phone. I was emailing my parents from my laptop.
Heather: Whoa.
Zoe: Um, yeah, so I couldn't do anything, I was just watching shows on my TV waiting for my parents to come and bring me. Um, I was obviously scared shitless, but you know when you're like so hungover that you're like, your brain is just like completely off, you're like, okay, I'm done, like, I think I was just like ready to die too, I was like, okay, if anything else fails, I'll just kill myself in rehab.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: Um, and. Yeah, I was just like, [00:46:00] I'm, I was open to do anything though at that point because like I really wanted to try at least. Um, I got there and there was like someone screaming outside.
Heather: Oh.
Zoe: And I was like, oh no, which rehab did I choose? Maybe I should have let my parents choose.
Heather: Already fucking it up.
Zoe: I already fucked it up for myself. But no, like, I got in there and it was fine. I just went to bed, watched my shows, zoned the fuck out, probably smoked a pack of cigarettes to my face.
Heather: Oh, yeah, a lot of smoking in rehab.
Zoe: And when I was smoking out there first day, like, the girls would pass by me and say hi to me and honestly, like, that's what I needed and that's what gave me like, okay, like, there's other people in here. There's other cool girls in here.
Heather: Yeah
Zoe: like we're all in this together and
Heather: So what's your advice for your younger self? For your day one sobriety? Day one sober Zoe, what would you [00:47:00] tell her?
Zoe: I don't know. You're gonna get through it. Yeah, like day one Congratulations, you chose this. I guess I would say congrats to her for choosing this.
Heather: Yeah. Yeah, I think I would say You're gonna be okay You might be okay. You might not be okay. Like, Oh God, I don't know. It was, I mean, obviously I know that I'm going to be okay.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: I didn't know at the time, but I would tell her just go in.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: You're fine.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: This is not the end of your life and you have no idea what's going to happen after, but it's only going to get better.
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: What's one great thing about being sober?
Zoe: Everything!
Heather: Uh, no, I need one thing.
Zoe: One thing. My skin?
Heather: Your skin. Okay. Yes. Tell me about your skin. You feel like your skin's gotten better.
Zoe: Yeah, 100%.
Heather: Okay. Yeah, there's like more life in it for sure. Um, I would say one thing, one [00:48:00] surprising thing that came out of being sober was how many people I've met that are sober. Yeah, and I, I never stopped talking about sobriety. I really ran towards it. I love it. It's, it's the first thing that everyone knows about me if you meet me now and In the dog park, where I make all my friends. So many people, when I share my story, they're like, Oh, this is how it's impacted me, or like, I have a brother who's this, or I have this. And so many people, I met someone at the nail salon the other day, and she was talking about her brother, and like, his addiction issues, and I'm just like, I love Being this person now that people can say things to, because before I was just like a wet blanket. Like I didn't, I was a potato. I didn't do anything. I didn't care about anyone's feelings. Now I care about everything. And it, it brings me so much joy to have sober conversations.
Zoe: That's a way better answer than my skincare answer. I thought it was a bullshit answer.
Heather: I mean, listen, if we want to go vain about this shit.
Zoe: Yeah, let's go vain.
Heather: I'm so [00:49:00] hot now Like I am hot when I first walked into the skincare clinic. This was a year and a half ago Probably I looked very different.
Zoe: I mean you were still cute I'd say you're hotter now a hundred percent, but like you were still hot before
Heather: that's so nice. Would I be invited to your sex party?
Zoe: A hundred percent. You know what? I think I thought I was hot when I was drinking but now looking back on photos... like, sometimes, yeah, but a lot of the time, I just looked like I was, like, dead inside because I know, like, myself and looking back on those photos, like, I just know, like, how dead inside she was.
Heather: Yeah, you know exactly how you felt in every photo.
Zoe: Looking through, like, the Snapchat memories. That's some dark shit.
Heather: Hey, by the way snapchat fucking stop I don't want to see pictures of me and my ex boyfriend from 10 years ago fucked up Like I don't want to see that shit.
Zoe: Can you delete those?
Heather: I'm sure you can but I Forget that I have snapchat. So I never like go into it and see
Zoe: yeah
Heather: When Ariane and I first started talking about this podcast, [00:50:00] I Wanted to call it the sober glow because I was like it was so Clear to me how What the glow up that I had getting sober and I know that's like not the most important part, but honestly, I'll say this if I didn't lose Weight and get prettier and feel better like I wouldn't be sober. My whole life has revolved around Being pretty and looking perfect and doing everything perfect and obviously I can't do that.
Zoe: Especially being a dancer.
Heather: Yeah,
Zoe: But it's only It's obvious that you would lose weight if you stop drinking because of the bloat and you're just drinking like, what, at least 2, 000 calories a day.
Heather: But I was throwing them up too with my brain cells.
Zoe: I don't think I was throwing up as much when I was, like
Heather: Really?
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: Iron stomach.
Zoe: Okay. So, Heather, why podcast?
Heather: I, I think after getting sober and talking to people and finding out even meeting you and [00:51:00] Feeling that connection. It just felt like this, there's a part of me that feels like this is what I meant to do I'm like meant to talk to sober people about their lives and My addiction hurt me so bad and it took so many years of my life and while I was in it I don't know how you felt, but I didn't have anyone to turn to. I didn't have, I didn't know I was an addict for a long time. And then when I did know, I was like, Oh no, what am I gonna do now? I never thought that this was gonna happen to me. You know, I listened to, we've talked about this so many times, but I, I used to listen to Dax Shepard, or I do listen to Armchair Expert. And Dax Shepard is very open about his addiction. And those episodes that he would talk about it or have guests on, like Bradley Cooper came on and talked about it, they would Grip me like I loved it and I was like, even when I was drinking, I was like, there's something about this that I'm really connecting to and I found that there wasn't really anyone out here to guide us, you know, or to guide me or to and then when I got [00:52:00] sober, I was terrified of everything and I feel like I love podcasts and I love listening to people chat about their experiences and I love conversations and I just think it's the right thing to do right now. It's what I want. I want to hear people. I want to listen to people. I want to connect with people and you're the exact right person that I wanted to have these conversations with. We are our sobriety is so different.
Zoe: Our sobriety is so different. And for some reason, I always thought like, Oh, people don't care about or don't want to hear about me being sober. Like, they are glad that I'm sober. But why would they want me to be continuously talking their ear off about me being sober? Because a lot of my friends aren't sober. So like, obviously, I'm not going to talk to them about being sober. while they are drinking like a bottle of wine, but I think that when I have told my friends about this podcast, they were really excited and surprisingly, they were like, I love when you talk about you being sober. I want you to talk about that more [00:53:00] often with me. I do love that about you and I love the conversations that you do have and your stories are so insane.
Heather: Yeah, there's so much to talk about. There's so much of the world that we now see so clearly. And that's the thing, this is a sobriety podcast. We're also two girls, two women, navigating this city. And everything is through a sober lens. But we're also not like, you know...
Zoe: We're not like health, wellness, like, girls. Let's get this straight.
Heather: And mind you, I will go to Trove and get an IV. I love that.
Zoe: We will go to Pilates.
Heather: Zoe is constantly in an ice bath.
Zoe: I do love a fucking ice bath.
Heather: She loves it. Well, on that note, proud of you.
Zoe: Proud of you.
Heather: Bye!
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Thanks for listening to Girl Undrunk you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at @girlundrunkpodcast and or send me an email at heather at girlundrunk. com. And before we go, thank [00:54:00] you to our amazing producer, Ariane Michaud, and support from her team at Consciously Produced. Martin Nuñez-Bonilla for the graphics. Ian Sitt for setting up our sound and Daniel James for the music and final edits. This podcast would not be possible without you.
