#28: A Codependency
This week on Girl, Undrunk, Heather and Zoe are back on their brand-new couch, sipping Collective Arts' black cherry vanilla non-alcoholic spritz and catching up on everything from breakups and depression to Charlie Sheen's chaotic new documentary, Dominic Fike's struggles, and Pete Davidson's raw honesty about addiction.
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A Codependency: Transcript
Heather: [00:00:00] This podcast covers sensitive topics that may be difficult for some listeners. Please take care while listening.
Zoe: Welcome back to Girl Undrunk. I'm Heather. I'm Zoe. And we have not been here for a while. It's been a while. Do you guys like wanna tell them what happened? A lot has happened. A lot has happened. But do you guys like our couch? Couch? Look at our couch. We have a big comfy couch. We have so much room and that means guests are coming.
That means we can have guests and they will be on our pink chair, which is really exciting and cute. Yeah. I feel like every time we do something in this room, it is like it feels more and more real. I like that a lot. It does. This couch is [00:01:00] really comfy. We had another couch back in the day and it was, it was too small.
It was too small. We were like. Very stuck together. Yeah. And we also, which we love, but not, it didn't show good on camera. It didn't show good on camera. And I also think that like at that time we weren't as close as we are now. Right. So like I was like, this feels a little squishy for our blooming friendship.
Yeah. You know? And now I think it's nice if like we have a guest and we're not like attached, attached at the hip. It makes the guests feel more welcomed. Yeah. Because we're not like super close and they're like, what the fuck am I going into? Yeah. This is not a codependency. You can come too. It's a little bit of a codependency.
Well we all have to eventually find a little bit of codependency, I think. Right. A healthy codependency. Yeah, a healthy amount. I think it's nice. Yeah. I have never found the balance. The balance. I mean, we're working on it. Yeah. I'm either like, let's do everything together all the time or like I would love to see you once a month.
Yeah. For like two hours. Not even once a month probably. [00:02:00] No. I mean, the thing I've got going now is like once every four months and I'm like, that's kind of nice. That's nice. You know, cash. What are we drinking? Okay, so today we are drinking collective arts. We've talked about it a little bit, but collective arts.
Yeah. Used to just be an alcoholic brand. Mm-hmm. And then they decided to jump into non-alcoholic, some mocktails. They do like, um, fake alcohol. Like mojitos. Yeah, like imitations. Yeah. Yeah. And then, well, what we've learned from Gail Mock, mock is not allowed. God, I really got my ass handed to me there. You really did.
She was like, excuse me madam. How many times do I have to tell you mock is for children. If you didn't watch our zero bar clips, watch them. Yeah. Go on TikTok and watch that. Jill's amazing. She's so cool. I need her to come into this space. And she will. We'll have her in. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe she'll just take the mic and do like a whole hour by herself.
Well, she, I was scared that she was gonna take it, take over the podcast. I know, but she really didn't. And I guess that was like on me being insecure about Totally. Like not having control, I guess. Yeah. But she did do really, she did such a good job. She was amazing to come in [00:03:00] and just be so confident about like the thing you do.
Mm-hmm. It was so cool. I really like that. And that's like what we're doing. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like, I'm like, I say this all the time, like I'm George Clooney, just like floating out into space, but I'm like, no bitch. You know exactly what you're doing. Yeah. You're sober, you're not drinking. That's your thing.
Be a little bit more confident. Be a little bit more confident. Yeah. But it's like, even if you're not even confident, like just act like you are. Yeah. Then you will. Who said that? One of like the celebrities said that, was it Rihanna? Fake it till you make it kind of thing. I mean, fake it till you make it.
Who would be the first, who's the originator of that? My mom always says that like my mom is going through some stuff right now and she's like, she's healthy, she's fine. Mm-hmm. But I was with her on the weekend and I was like, how are you? And she's like, well. You just gotta fake it till you make it sometimes.
And I'm like, okay. It's true. It's true. Like it is true. And the more like positive talk you say to yourself, the more positive you'll be. So true. So if you sit in like the negative, the more upset inside you're gonna be. Yeah. So if you fake it to yourself, even like you will be happier. What is it like if you [00:04:00] smile, it makes your brain think you're happy?
Yeah. You can like trick yourself. I used to, when I was like fully an eating, eating disorder. Oh. I was just like imagining you being so sad and miserable and just smiling and looking at yourself. I'm fine. I'm having, I'm okay. I'm so hungry and I'm just, everything is fine. When I was like full in eating disorder in Boston.
Yeah. I used to run on the treadmill. Mm-hmm. You know who one time ran beside me? Did we already talk about this? Zaino Chara? Who the fuck is that? He's Chara. He's a NHL player. Oh. And he's like extremely tall. That's neither here nor there. Was he hot? I think. Sometimes for me personally, when you get too tall, everything starts to get a little bit scary.
Crazy. Yeah. Everything starts to just, we're evolving into a new species at that point. It's true. So he's not really for me. Yeah. I don't love tall. Tall. Do you have Tall? Tall? I mean, like, I did hook up with that one, like OHL guy. Okay. Remember? Did I tell you that story? Mm. And he [00:05:00] like was concussed so many times and his brain was definitely not there.
Yeah. But he was like big and tall and like hot. So we ended up still hooking up and he totally lifted me up. Oh. And put my vagina just like in his mouth. Wow. While he was standing up and like I was touching the ceiling. I was like. How do I get up here? Okay. I have to tell you, I'm on my period right now and I don't know what's going on with me, but this like round of my actual period, I've been so horny.
Horny. How many times have you been jerking off? Honestly, not like I haven't been interesting. Just 'cause like when I have my period, I like don't wear a tampon to bed. Like I wear period underwear to bed. Right. So I'm like, I don't wanna, yeah. Yeah. It's just too like messy and I'm like I don't need it. But walking around feeling horny is like kind of fun.
Yeah. You know, like when I drive I'm just like, but it's weird 'cause isn't that like biologically wrong? Like shouldn't you be horny when you're ovulating? Yeah. Well I feel like I get horny like right before I get my period. Like even one day before I'm probably jerking off like, because it makes sense.
'cause if you're like horny, [00:06:00] you're ovulating, you're looking for a mate. Yeah. But then why am I horny on my period? Maybe my body just knows like, nah man, she's single so it doesn't really matter. Yeah. We're on a different timeline for this one. Yeah. You've been through like. And now I think you're just like releasing.
I'm releasing. And you're like, well let's, let's get back into it. I know. I feel interesting right now. This is like the signature, like girl and drunk dance, by the way. I think it is. It's uh oh. Well what are we drinking? What are we drinking? That was a big turnaround. Yeah. But I loved it. I think it was necessary.
It was. So we're drinking collective arts, black cherry, vanilla. It's a little like spritzy mixed drink. Yeah. It tastes really good by itself. Yeah, it's really good. But we mix it up even more. Yeah. 'cause we're crazy. Yeah. 'cause we're making mocktails and it's, or we're making non-alcoholic beverages and it's very fun.
The word mocktails just go scale. And I'm sorry, I know's. Zero proof. I know. But I think this is a little mocktail. Look at it. It's mach. It is mach. So yeah, we made a little mocktail. So it's the black cherry vanilla. We added some other, some other little things. Go check out our TikTok. Yeah. If you want the [00:07:00] recipe.
But collective arts. So good. Yeah. Love, love, love. It's a black cherry, vanilla fruit and F sparkling water with antioxidants, electrolytes, zero sweeteners and no preservatives, which we love with four essential vitamins and minerals. Yeah, I love it. Zero calories. I know. I love it too. I love that. I love that there's good stuff in it.
Electrolytes. I don't drink water. Yeah. And then we made a little, A little garney. A little garney. It's amazing. Should we cheer? It's amazing babes. Okay, babe. Oh my God. Look at my hand. I'm so can spill on our new couch. I love you. I love you. O cheers. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Check out the TikTok for the recipe. How are you?
How am I? I am so happy that we're on the other side of your little depression. Yeah, that was like a lot. I know. For, I'm sorry. I was like, I hate seeing my friends like. Stuck like that. Yeah. You know, and I hate [00:08:00] not being able to help people when they're down, but like I love being there for you. Yeah. You know?
No, you were really helpful and I think like what we've both kind of learned in this situation mm-hmm. Is like for both of us, it's like we have to let each other be, be, and like just support however we can go through the process. Yeah. 'cause nothing you say. Yeah. Logically, intellectually, spiritually, nothing you say is actually going to make me make a decision.
It's like I have to get there and it's helpful. Yeah. And you being there is helpful, but it's gonna take just as long. Yeah. So I feel like that was actually really nice. Like you were there, I was able to talk to you, it was like the back and forth. But um, yeah, I really appreciate you being there. It's the same with quitting drinking, right?
A hundred percent. It's the same. Like I can never tell someone to quit. They have to figure it out on their own. But yeah, I. I feel really good. I feel really motivated. Like I think [00:09:00] the podcast is amazing. Mm-hmm. Like your episode with your Paige was amazing. Yeah. Like, I am really proud of that for you.
Thank you. And Paige, let's hang out. We can go to the gym together. Like, oh God. No, I'm down. Okay. She's crazy. I know she, have you looked at any of her Instagram? She lifts like a few. A lot of weight. A lot of weight. And she's a mother. Crazy. I know. Um, but yeah. I'm excited to go on my trip this week. Yay. I can't believe, I feel like you just got back from London.
I know. And then all this shit happened and then now you're going again. I know. For two weeks. Right? I know. I'm gone for a really long time. I haven't gone on a trip this long, I think since going to Australia when I was still drinking. Wow. Yeah. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. Are you good with long trips away from home?
Like, do you like that? Are you good? I don't know. Like this is. Gonna be a new thing for me in sobriety. Right? Yeah. I haven't done this in sober, so I know. And you're going to very like drinking culturey places. Yeah. So like the Aperol spritz at lunch is like pretty relaxing, [00:10:00] looking to be honest. Yeah, it's good because.
When I go to Italy, I'm staying with my friend Francesca. Mm-hmm. And she barely drinks. Okay. Oh, that's nice. She's also into lifting just like Paige. Okay. Yeah. You guys are all gonna form a little club and I'm not, yeah. I'm not coming. Like, me and Francesca are probably gonna go like running in the mountains and like, I think she lives by the do mites.
What's that? It's like the mountain range. Okay. In the north of Italy. Mm. So I'll probably go on like hikes and it'll be really like relaxing. That will be like the relaxing part of my trip. Yeah. And then I'll go to Portugal and meet up with my boyfriend who's also sober. So it's like I'm with sober people the whole time, so I'm not gonna feel like a certain way.
Yeah. Um, that's the best part, which is nice. And I know a lot of people, I'm going there for my friend's wedding. I know a lot of people. At the wedding. So, and all of them know that I'm sober. There's a famous person going to that wedding. Right? There is a famous person going to that wedding. Gotta get him on the pod.
I'll talk to him about that. Yeah. I think he remembers me from when I was a drunk and [00:11:00] a stoner. Listen, if anything we made an impact. We, I really made an impact. One. Yeah. So there's a way That's a famous person. Yeah, it's very exciting. I'm very excited for you. I can't wait to see all your pictures. I love Italy.
I really hope I get a lot of good pictures. You will. I hope I get like a really cute picture with my boyfriend. I think he wants to me to post him on my main 'cause he's like sad. He hasn't been in like one of the main pictures on my Instagram and I'm like, you'll get there. Come on. How do you feel about men on your main?
If I look good, it can be on it. Okay. And if he looks good, it can be on it. If we don't get a good photo at the wedding. Sorry, I'm not gonna post you on my main Yeah. I don't know how I feel about it. I think I feel, I think I feel weird about it. I think I have posted men on my main before. Yeah. Dating and then when we break up I'm like, ah.
Like this is not the curated life that I want. Well then I can archive. You can archive for sure. But I like, I think we've been dating for over six months now, so I feel like Good about it. [00:12:00] Yeah. And like it's time. He's probably moving in with me soon. So like I have to be then I guess you can Good. About him being on my main, I guess you can go public.
You know that I have a friend who is like married. Mm-hmm. And some of her friends don't even know she's married. Really? Yeah. Like she's been dating this guy for, and no one even knew they were dating and then they got married so secretly I'm like, what type of person is just like, so like cool with themself or like happy with their thing?
Yeah. Where they like don't need to share it. I'm like, Ugh. Does she post on Instagram though regularly? I don't think so. Yeah. Then that's different. I feel like I post pretty regularly. So like I. The photos that I'm taking are gonna include him. So like, it just sense. Well, I recently had like a man on my stories.
Yeah. Which is fine. Stories are fleeting. Stories are fleeting. Men are fleeting.
Heather: Oh, are they ever, are
Zoe: they ever And they're weird liars. Yeah. But I, um, my mental health, thanks for asking is well, I, oh yeah. What's your one to 10 A number for me? I'm gonna say a 7.5. I like a 7.5. A 7.5. [00:13:00] I feel like my mental health is, mm.
Be honest. Well, you know what, today I'm in a good fucking mood, but a mood isn't necessarily my mental health. Yeah. I think probably I'm at like a 4.5. Okay. But my like surface level mood feels good. Yeah. I think there's just so much going on and I don't wanna like trick myself into thinking I'm okay.
Yeah. When I'm not. Because like I'll do things like I won't look outside and then I'll go outside and it's fully raining. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, well, why didn't I take the time to, no. I literally, after the meeting yesterday morning, I was looking at it raining. Mm-hmm. All meeting long. Yeah. And then I go outside without an umbrella.
Yeah. And I'm like, oh yeah, this is why I'm an addict. I know, know, I'm like, focus babe. Yeah. So like a second. But you know, there was, you know, I've gone through like a breakup and I'm like, fine to say that now. Um. My life was getting crazy. Mm-hmm. My schedule was getting really like, unfocused, unorganized.
I was booking everything at the same time. Like [00:14:00] my life just wasn't Yeah. Falling into place. I see. Well, that was a little bit manic, right? Like you booked, we have the podcast Yeah. At 9:00 AM Yeah. Every Friday. And then you booked a boxing at 9:00 AM Yeah. And the therapy at 9:00 AM Yeah. And I was like, holy shit, babe.
I know. I, and then I had the couch delivered at the same fucking time. At the same time too. I was like, I, I don't know what to do. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. Like I just feel like I apologized a lot last week. Yeah. 'cause I'm like, guys, I, I literally am crying all day. Yeah. Like, it's rough. I know. And when you called me like that it's like, it's so hard on my heart.
'cause like, I feel so bad for you and like, I know saying sorry and like apologizing, but it's like you have such good, solid people in your life. Yeah. And like the ones. You feel like you need to say sorry for the most or probably not the good ones, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I just like, I feel like so neglectful when I get like that and then I'm like, I'm sorry guys.
Like I am coming back, like, believe in me. I promise. Yeah. Like it's just, it's just rough. Like sometimes those fucking four days, five days are [00:15:00] like, breakups are hard no matter what. Yeah. Breakups are so no matter what are so crazy. The craziest thing about fucking breaking up, even if it's like not a long relationship mm-hmm.
Not a super like, intense anything. It's like, you know, you wanna be done and then as it's happening mm-hmm. And the goodbyes are happening, my body is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Mm-hmm. Like, what if we can actually make this work and I can just do everything you need. Mm-hmm. And I'll temper my whole life to do what you need.
Mm-hmm. And like I, my adult sober brain is like. No. Yeah. Like, you know that you're gonna have this exact conversation in two weeks Yeah. With the, like, with the same people doing the same thing. Mm-hmm. So just like your brain is just smarter than your heart in those moments. I think it comes back to, um, like that's what we are taught as like young woman, right?
Mm-hmm. Is to always like, fight for the man. Yeah. And like, just like do everything for the man. And that's what we used to do in when we were drinking Yeah. Is like, do whatever the man fucking wanted. Yeah. So that we could stay together. And now that we're sober, we're like, oh wait, we're not gonna do that.
Mm-hmm. And that's [00:16:00] where when you're saying goodbye, those, like, those responses come into play again. Yeah. It's like your body's natural reaction. You just have to fight that off. Right. 'cause I'm like, I'm obviously the problem in this, like it feels, like, feels like that for sure. Because I am an addict, so like, it must be me.
Mm-hmm. Before anything, but No, I really, and even if that's true. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well it's not working. Yeah. So we gotta be done. Take that as a sign if you need to. If it's not feeling good, you don't actually really need to know why it's not feeling good. It's just done. Yeah. I think like, I'm really proud of you for Thank you.
Acknowledging that. Yeah. And, um, I think it's hard to get out of anything. Yeah. That like, 'cause you, you did really like him. Yeah. He did like, seem like a good person at that point. Yeah. Always lovely. Yeah. It's just not, it's like when, it's like when two people with insecurities Yeah. Come to each other and those insecurities trigger Yeah.
Each other. It's like, it just can't, you know? Yeah. And [00:17:00] it wasn't bringing out like, the best in you as a person. Yeah. And I think that's where like, if your relationship isn't bringing out the best of you as a person, something's not gonna be working. Totally. Um, so now I'm in my dating era. She's dating again.
Anybody wanna date her? Yeah, but like there's criteria. Yeah. There's also, I don't think the bar is high. Also, I don't wanna be in a relationship at all. No, I don't have time. I don't have space. I don't have capacity. No. I need like a situationship. Yeah. In that I am in control of. Yeah. And we'll see. And maybe I'll just go on dates, like maybe I'll go on dates and that'll be fun content.
I think you should just go on days. Yeah. We'll try to do like at least one first date every like two weeks. I think that's good. I thought you were gonna say every week and I was like, huh. No. I'm like, okay. My Wednesdays are about to get crazy. Crazy. Uh, yeah. I think that'd be fun. Yeah. Okay, great. Okay.
Yeah, mental health is good. Went to Ottawa, everything's fine. Yeah. Do you wanna say anything about Ottawa? Ottawa is so hard for me. Yeah. It's every, when I [00:18:00] talk about it, I get weird. Yeah. Ottawa just like being in a place I grew up. Mm-hmm. And it's just everything comes rushing back. It's so much trauma.
It's so much like just being on the same main strip. I'm like, Ugh. Yeah. Like, I hate this, but I think it's also something I'm gonna desensitize myself to. Yeah. Because my mom is there. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm obviously, well, I think that I felt like that a lot when I was going back to Sarnia. Mm-hmm. When I first got sober, I was like, oh my God.
Like I hate this fucking feeling. Yeah. And I hate. How it reminds me of all the bad shit that I've done Yeah. In my life.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: Um, but yeah, I feel like now going back there, it's easier for sure. A hundred percent. Yeah. I do still feel like maybe 15% of those like yeah. Shame and guilt moments when I'm there.
Um, you know, they say, but it's definitely less, you know, they say like when something happens to you, when you're a kid, like tr a trauma, bigger, small happens to you, it kind of stunts you in that emotional place for like that specific thing. So like you can go on and like [00:19:00] be strong and grow in other places, but there is like this one specific thing that has stunted you.
Mm-hmm. And so you just revert back when you feel triggered by that. Mm-hmm. And so when I go to Ottawa, I feel 15 and I feel quick to trigger. Yeah. And I'm like mad at everybody. Well, I feel like that even when I'm just like with my family in general. Okay. Like when I'm with my friends, everything's good.
I'm like growing as a person and then I go back to my family and I feel like a child again. Yeah. And I revert back to those old behaviors. Yeah. And I'm a fucking brat. Yeah. I'm baby. Yeah. I'm fully baby. Fully baby. But I did, I met up with this girl who I Oh yeah. Yeah. Mackenzie. Shout out. She's amazing.
She, um, she's really cool. And she, we weren't friends necessarily in high school. We went to the same school for two years. But that's a person that was like so kind. Mm. I think people were like pretty fucking mean to her, but like, she was so cool, so kind. Had a very old boyfriend when we were in high school, which is like very problematic.
Mm-hmm. But I always really liked her. I was always like, she's so fucking cool and evolved. Yeah. And so we met [00:20:00] up and like, she's sober now. Oh shit. And it was so nice. I'm like, I feel like we're, I'm talking to like. A really old friend. Yeah. But we weren't even really close. Close. But sobriety is like, okay.
You know, and that's the thing, like sobriety does just like bring people together. Yeah. No matter what, because we have this common thing. Yeah. And that common thing is like so big. All of these. Yeah. Yeah. It's not just sobriety. It's like, what happened to you? How did you get here? What are the lessons you've learned?
Mm-hmm.
Heather: You know?
Zoe: Do you still hate anybody? Yeah. Um, did she, like, how did she stop? Did she do it on like her will or? Yes, she did it on her own. And I think it was like she, she had a kid. Mm-hmm. And then, and then was like, okay, I need to fucking stop drinking. Yeah. Um, I think when I have a kid, I'll stop smoking.
Do you think? Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna have to if I'm pregnant, right? Oh yeah. You have to. Yeah. I wonder if you'll want to smoke when you're pregnant. 'cause probably not. Like my mom likes wine and like [00:21:00] she was disgusted by wine when she is pregnant with us. I hope I am just disgusted by it when I am pregnant.
Imagine not though. You would be cool. Like smoking in like a, in like a crop top, full belly. I mean, it would be terrible. You'd be canceled immediately. I would be canceled immediately. But you don't like smoke in the car or like in the house? I don't like smoking in the car, in the house. I like having like your me time.
I like having my, me time outside. I like a cool breeze. I like a, yeah. Now I want a cigarette. Anyways. Yeah. I, uh, I wonder, we'll see. I guess we, we will cross that bridge. Yeah. I will not be going to meetings for two weeks. Right. How do you feel about that? I feel like kind of sad because I am gonna miss everybody.
Mm-hmm. Especially because I finally am spons sponsoring someone crazy. Um, so exciting. So it like sucks that like I'm leaving her. As soon as we like got started on the steps, I'm like, okay, bye. I'm off to Italy. Yeah. But. You are still in content. Yeah. I think I'm gonna try to plan a FaceTime with her after we do a recording.
'cause we're gonna [00:22:00] do a, try to do a Zoom Yeah. Uh, recording in Italy. So I'll try to FaceTime her as well. On your Yes. That's exciting. Yeah. Are you nervous about just like not being in a meeting? Not necessarily. I think that because I'm around so much, so many sober people when I'm there, it won't be so crazy.
I think, I don't know. I don't know how I feel. Yeah. Because I don't think I've missed two weeks of meetings. Again for like over a year. Yeah. I mean you could go to one in Italy, but it will be in Italian. I think they only have them in Rome. Oh really? Yeah, they do online though. You could do an online. I could do an online one if you're feeling, yeah.
But also is it a thing where like if you have like two sober people in a room together, it's a meeting. Yeah, kind of. Kinda. Yeah. So I guess we'll see. And if I, if I have a freak out or something, I can always call my sponsor on WhatsApp, but that's true. Yeah, that's true. [00:23:00] There's been a lot of things going on.
Yeah. Well we haven't recorded here in what, three weeks? Yeah, it's been a long time, so I'm happy to be back with you. Well, we did record actually, I guess, right? But then we didn't do it. We did record, but there was some technical difficulties and we couldn't release it. And it was too soon to talk about the Charlie Sheen of it all.
I mean, the Charlie Sheen episode. We could talk, we could talk about that first. We watched the um, Charlie Sheen doc. Yeah, I guess like. We won't review it. 'cause a, it's impossible. Yeah. It's not chronological. It really feels like you're watching a drug addict's life. Yeah. Which we are, but, which I think that's probably why they chose to edit it like that.
A little weird. Yeah. A little bit strange with like the plane crashing and all that. Yeah. The plane crashing was a lot like, whoa. Yeah. But it is a metaphor for his life, I guess. Totally. Like he was just spiraling downwards like every few years, you know? Yeah. And nothing is really real. Yeah. Like everything is kind of just like a movie.
Yeah. And I, I [00:24:00] think I was talking to you about this too. I, I find it interesting to watch a documentary about somebody's life. Mm-hmm. Tip to tail, and then I leave the documentary being like. I don't know anything about this person. Yeah, it was a lot about the past and not a lot about like what is he doing now, but even and what's his everyday life now?
Yeah. And well, yeah, and even too, when he's a kid and you're seeing footage of him as a kid. Mm-hmm. It's always when they did, what do they, what they call them? Like Super eight. Yeah, super. That's what they call them. Super eight films or something. Yeah. And it was like them as kids, like running around recording each other, like making little movies when he's like really young.
Yeah. But even that, I'm like, we don't see any home video from him. We don't see like him at Christmas or anything like that. Yeah. So I'm like, who is this? Person. Well, I think that's what it was trying to maybe show right? That like, he didn't really have a childhood. Yeah. He was just like forced into the spotlight.
Yeah. From a very young age. Because his dad was also an actor. Mm-hmm. He didn't really have like a [00:25:00] proper childhood, which I'm sure is very telling of like, what ha why he ended up the way that he ended up. Yeah. Yeah. I, um, I think like the privilege in it all. Yeah. It was, it's a lot to watch because you're like, at every turn a you're getting something.
Yeah. Even if you're fucking it up, you're getting accolades, you're showing up, you're in the right place. You don't have a, a high school education even. Really? Yeah. And you're like now on the set of Ferris Bueller and it's like. Yeah. You know? Well, I guess it's like that, those times, right? Yeah. Back in the day his dad had was an actor.
Yeah. So like he was just given everything, but even when like, he started to like go to rehabs and shit. Mm-hmm. Right? Like he would go to rehab and then come out with like a big job. Yeah. Or like an award or something. Yeah. Like lined up for him. If any woman went to rehab, they would have nothing. They would come back to Hollywood and literally have nothing.
Well, I mean, look at Lindsay Lohan. Yeah. [00:26:00] Like she was not making new, maybe a few things here and there while she was like in and out of her addictions. But like, she went away for like a decade and like everyone, like wrote bad stuff about her all the time. Yeah. Like there's Charlie Sheen. Like no one was like, well, I'm sure they were like writing bad stuff, but it wasn't like calling him like a whore.
Yeah. You know? Right, right. And a great example too is like Amanda Bees. Yeah. Where like a child actor, so fucking talented. Mm-hmm. Like a standup comedian at like 11. Yeah. Crazy. And then. All of these things have happened to her, but we're just like, oh, she's doing drugs. She's outta the media. She's like, look at her.
Look at her new TikTok. Look at her new podcast. Yeah. All this weird shit, but we hate her. And then with him, it was just like, it was almost like the giving him another chance. Giving him another chance after chance. After chance. Yeah. And that's enablement for sure. Yeah, it is. Do you think that some people were like, if we give him these jobs, he'll be happy enough and he'll stop.
Like, do you think that that was a part of it at [00:27:00] all? I think so. I feel like that possibly was a part of it, but I think a bigger part of it was like, this guy is making us money. Mm-hmm. And like everyone does love him, so we need to keep him working. Yeah. And I think, yeah, maybe people thought that if he kept working, he would stop doing as much drugs.
Yeah. But like I can see if I got out of rehab and everything was just handed back to me without any consequence. Yeah. I would be like, oh, like it's okay that I just went to rehab then like, let me just like drink again. Yeah. Like everything's fine. You need to have some sort of like, not punishment per se, but consequence consequences to your actions.
Yeah. That's not like giving him something right away, but it could be like when he proves himself Yeah. To everyone around him that he is in a good place and that he's going to maintain long-term sobriety. Yeah. Then you can, then you can reward him with these [00:28:00] jobs and accolades again. Yeah. But, but we're also watching him like go to rehab and of course we weren't there.
We don't know, but mm-hmm. What it looks like is we're watching someone go to rehab who doesn't wanna stop doing drugs. Yeah. Like maybe at times he wanted to slow it down. Yeah. Like maybe he wanted to show up and not have to like be super hungover on a show, but like, or on a set. But we're watching this man just go 'cause he has to.
Yeah. And then, and then yeah. He keeps leaving early. Yeah. And things like that. Which is a big trend. Yeah. I think. I think so too. Especially amongst the men. Yeah. I find when we listen to men who've gone to rehab, it's like, yeah, I stayed for like 20 days and I was good. Or like Yeah. I went for like, I don't know.
Yeah. Like 25 days. I was supposed to say for 30. But like Jax Taylor's like that. Pete Davidson was like that. Dominic Fike. Yeah. You know, we just listened to him on Dak Shepherd. Mm-hmm. Little baby. I love him. I love him. I've always loved him. I know I wanna take him. I've always loved him and just cradle him.
Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I think so too. Like when I watched him [00:29:00] on euphoria, I was like, oh, I wanna fuck him. Yeah, for sure. Now I'm like, you're little baby. Like you are just. Should we talk about Dominic Fike or should we keep Yeah. Okay. Or, yeah, maybe just stick on Charlie's first. Well stick on Charlie.
We'll come back to Dominic. Yeah. Yeah. But John Crier, he was the, he's like the other half of two and a half men. Oh, right. John Crier. Okay. He, he was saying like, you know, like my career depended on Charlie's. Mm-hmm. And like, you know, it was all of this in and out. But then also Charlie Sheen is making a fuck ton more money than him.
Mm-hmm. And I had this feeling, I was like, you and me are sitting here as addicts, sober, empathetic, and we've seen people go in and out. Mm-hmm. But if you are an addict mm-hmm. And you're an adult and we're doing this show together and you can't keep your fucking shit together, and it's in and out. Now I don't really have an understanding of addiction.
I'm just a person. And you're in and out and in and out, and then you shoot your girlfriend. Mm-hmm. And then you like, [00:30:00] you get HIV and like all of these things happen to you and you're still doing all these drugs. I think at some point, if I'm John Crier and I might just be like, I don't give a fuck course, I don't give, give a fuck.
If you're healthy, show up, do your job, and if you have to do drugs later, great, go ahead. But like, stop fucking with my life. A hundred percent. I would feel that way too. Yeah. Like if I was a non addict and someone kept fucking up my job Yeah. And getting more money than me, I would fucking hate him. Like of course.
Yeah. So I think like empathy dwindles, and then at that point you're like, is this and everybody problem? Like, am I supposed to be supporting the addict? Am I enabling the addict? Is it my responsibility? Yeah. I think it's also very telling that like Charlie was so successful because Hollywood at that time, like glamorized, like.
Drugs and a crazy party man. Only like, again, if a woman did any of those things, [00:31:00] never be okay. Mm-hmm. But since he was a white man, it was fine. Yeah. And like it was funny like that two and a half men show, I grew up watching that. Right. Like my dad and my brother loved that show. Yeah. So I loved that show as well because I wanted to be cool for my dad and my brother.
So boy, so boy. I wanted to so boy, just be like the boys, you know? Yeah. But yeah, I loved that show and I loved that he would be a crazy man. Like fucking all these girls, like I thought it was cool to watch that too. Right. And that's very telling of how I grew up and like Yeah. Ended up, you know, who is it?
Sean Penn is in the, yeah. Okay. So he's so hot. Sean Penn said, thank you. Sean Penn was like, when he got two and a half men. Mm-hmm. When Charlie got two and a half men, he was like, yeah, this is a role for Charlie. 'cause it's literally just Charlie's life. Yeah. That feels crazy to me. Mm-hmm. Because I'm like, okay, you're going to a job where you're just like, I guess they weren't really doing drugs on the show, right?
Like it was just mostly like sex and drinking. Yeah. I don't [00:32:00] remember if they mentioned drugs at all. Maybe they were like alluding to it, I'm sure. Yeah. Or like at least drinking and sex. But like sex, he's clearly a sex addict in the show. Right? Yeah, for sure. He's a sex addict in the show, so I don't really know what we're doing.
Like, do we just think that his life is funny and we're like, oh, this makes sense. 'cause I think it is kind of like a funny thing, like, oh look at this fucked up guy. I guess so. Which also like, I'm just like imagining if I'm Charlie Sheen. Mm-hmm. And I'm in the show and everyone's like laughing at me because like, this is my life.
Yeah. It would make me feel fucking bad and it would make me want to drink and do drugs. I know. Well, that's the thing. I'm like, at this point you're just being like. You're treating him like a drug addict and an alcoholic and a sex addict. Yeah. And writing scripts for him like that. So why would he change?
Why, why wouldn't he? You know? Because since he was a kid, he didn't have consequences. Mm-hmm. Like his dad. And it's funny, in the documentary, his dad will be like, Martin Sheen will be like, it will be quotes of him giving good advice. Mm-hmm. Like, um, like when he was, [00:33:00] he, he got a movie and then he got Karate Kid.
But he had to turn down Karate Kid. Yes. And his dad was like, people will res What is it like Yeah. You'll go farther in this industry by keeping your word. Yeah. Rather than, you know, taking the next best thing. But I like that. But I'm also like, yeah. But it, I don't know that your dad's a good dad. I think he was home every now and then and like dropped some advice.
Yeah. And then ran away to go on a set. Even since he's a kid. There is no consequences. There's no consequences. I think that's everything does people like, right? Yeah. Like he just shows up to set with, um, Jennifer Gray. Yeah. When he was, what, two hours late and still hours late and still is able to do the job.
Yeah. Just like wore, had the looks and he like got some like grease or whatever, put it under his eyes and I'm like, you just like showed up when you weren't supposed to, but got the job anyway. Mm-hmm. Okay. What's next? And now we just, now you can do whatever you want. Yeah. And then people think it's funny.
Mm-hmm. And now we're all making money off of it. Exactly. Like going into Charlie Charlie's boots, like I would, [00:34:00] I know why he drank and like did drugs, like Yeah. I would want to as well.
Heather: Mm-hmm.
Zoe: I don't think he had like a. He didn't have any consequences. He couldn't learn anything properly. He was just a baby throughout his whole life and he didn't know how to deal with life.
And that is what an addict is. Yeah. They dunno how to deal with life. So they use fucking drugs, alcohol, pussy, whatever. They can get true. Clip that. No, truly because, well, I love when he's talking about the menu of sex when he like, takes drugs and he's like, 'cause we talk about this all the mm-hmm. Time.
Like, he like says, you know, you've, you've done all these drugs. And then Sean Penn comes in, he is like, you know, people who do cocaine have a strong sexual proclivity. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, yeah. Does Sean Penn? Mm-hmm. But good for you for chiming in. And Charlie Sheen is like, oh yeah, when you do drugs, you have the menu.
And you're like, I'll take one of those, one of those, I'll take it all. And then the producer is like, so are you admitting to having sex with men? And he so casual. He's like, duh. Yeah. Yeah. I like how casual he is about it, because then the producer asks him like, [00:35:00] well, is this something you were interested in before?
Or is this like strictly drug based? And he's like, oh no, it's just drugs. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, once you've done one thing, you wanna do it all. Which honestly, I'm kind of relating to now because like before I would get that fucked up. Mm-hmm. I wasn't like searching for threesomes or searching for like that promiscuous of sex, but when I was getting more fucked up.
Yeah. Like I've done threesomes with guys, threesomes with girls. Mm-hmm. Like I was searching for more with my sex. Yeah. Which. I'm sure if I went going it would've been way crazier, like Charlie Sheen. But yeah, like I even like have Ubered guys to my house and like paid for their Ubers. 'cause like I was that desperate for sex.
Oh yeah. So it's not hiring a prostitute, but that's like paying for someone to come over to fuck me. 100%. You know, 100 if you're sugar mama. Do you think you were chasing it for like a better orgasm? Or do you think just like the feeling of being touched and important or like, like 'cause were you like looking for a [00:36:00] good orgasm?
I think no, because like I definitely wasn't like coming. Right, okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I think it was just the idea of it all. Yeah. And yeah, like having, feeling something. Yeah, for sure. I think feeling wanted for me was a big thing. Yeah. Just feeling like useful. Yeah. Ugh. But yeah, it's very interesting.
And then there's a bunch of shit with Charlie Sheen, like the last episode, the last like 20 minutes of the two episodes. It's like allegations of. Rape and then like he has HIV and then all of this chaotic shit at the end. Mm-hmm. Which is not funny. Not funny, but it is what happens, it's like before you get sober, when you start thinking about getting sober, crazy shit happens because you're like, oh my God, I gotta do all of this stuff.
And then like the shame of not getting sober and like all of that. Like, and now you have HIV. Yeah. Which is fine because you know you can, you can deal with it now, you can deal with it. It can be undetectable, you can have sex with people, it's fine. But it just felt so [00:37:00] chaotic. And I think after like a week of letting it sit in my body mm-hmm.
I just really hope he's okay. Yeah. I think that he's obviously done horrible things. Yeah. I didn't like the way he just was like. Um, the rape allegation came up and he just like totally disregarded it. Yeah. And like didn't really talk on it at all. That was like, come on, like talk about it. Like Yeah. If it's an allegation you clear and you didn't do anything, just explain a little bit more like what happened.
Don't just totally disregard it. Yeah. Because that's a big allegation. It's massive. Exactly. So like that wasn't cool and like Yeah. Shooting his wife wasn't cool and not telling people he had HIV not cool, bro. I wonder if it's this thing where he's like explained it so many times that he thinks we all know already.
Well he's definitely like explaining things very like, [00:38:00] um, just like telling it how it is. Yeah. Which is how an addict talks in the rooms by the way. Like when you go, like, I see guys talk about this shit all the time's. Like every meeting they just like blurt. Yeah. And just talk and. That's how people like get over things, right?
Yeah. So I think he's very much talking like an addict in aa. Um, I think you're a bad person. Like he was a bad person, right? Yeah. I was talking to Alexia about this and he's, she's like, yeah, like you did a bad thing. I was, I am a criminal. I have a DUI and then I decide to get sober. So that one good thing, does it weigh out that one bad thing?
Like being sober is amazing. Yeah. Like that's an ama that's a really fucking huge accomplishment. Yeah. Of choosing sobriety, then choosing to fucking die, you know, and stay a horrible person. Yeah. So does the one good thing outweigh one bad thing and then if you're doing more good things than good things with [00:39:00] your life, is it slowly outweigh the bad that you've done?
I don't know. That's an interesting question because. Yeah. Like I have fucked up a bunch and I've ruined relationships and now Yeah. I've proven to those people that I'm a good person. Mm-hmm. And now that they respect me again. Yeah. So it's kind of like, yeah, we, we've done fucking horrible things. Yeah. We all have as addicts and then the good starts to outweigh the bad when you're as sober as you can be.
Yes. And I think that that's very true. And then I also think that if you had hit someone with your car Yeah. And killed them.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: Their family gets to hate you for the rest of their life. A hundred percent. And they get to think of you as a bad person and. Then where does that responsibility lie? You just have to be okay with them hating you, right?
I think so. Yeah. I think that that's just something that I will have to do a [00:40:00] living amends to them for eternity. Yeah. Right. Which just means like, I have to stay sober so that doesn't happen again. Right. For other people. Yeah. And I have to, um, like maybe be, I don't know, contributing in some way to like the community, to like do a living amends and just live a better life to hopefully make it up to them.
But that's like all obviously not possible. Well, I think in the grand scheme of things, it's like, yeah, we all want everyone to be a better person. Yeah. And so like, yeah. No, I think you're right. I think Charlie Sheen is like a better person now. There's just so much collateral along the way. Yeah. But that makes me feel like, yeah, you have to move on with your life.
Yeah. Like you have to as the addict because. I mean, you have two choices. You either sit in all of that and drink about it, or you Exactly. Or you try. Exactly. And him being sober is the harder thing to do. A hundred percent. And so like, I'm proud of him for that. Yeah. Um, [00:41:00] it's cool that he even put out this documentary Yeah.
But also like, what's the point of the documentary? Yeah. I, a little bit was like, hold on now. Because when you watch it, you're like, okay, so they're talking about every time they did a show and they're like making money off of this person and he doesn't really know what's going on. And they're Denise Richards Love, love, she's on the, the, the third season of Special Forces.
Did you ever watch that? No. Okay. Um, I love her. Okay. But she was saying, she's like, you know, when he was really in his addiction, like kind of closer to the end, she would go over to his house. Yeah. And like they would essentially be propping him up Yeah. To like sign things or like whatever. And he would just be out of his mind.
Yeah. And when she said that, I'm like. Are you guys just kind of doing that now? Like I, I think he sober. I know that he de think, he seems way more like aware and like he definitely knows what's going on. He's been on a lot of podcasts. He was on Joe Rogan, he was on, um, what's that? Mike Malac and Logan Paul.
Oh, so he's picking the best [00:42:00] podcast. Podcast. He's he's picking all the men fucking podcast. Which Charlie come here. I don't talk to the woman. Don't actually, I'm scared of you A little bit. I don't know if he has the ability or capacity to be like, vulnerable with a woman. Well, that's interesting because I know a lot of addict men who aren't able to be vulnerable around men.
Totally. They're only allowed to be vulnerable around women. Yeah. Um, but maybe we would ask like the tougher questions we would, you know, but it's. Oh no, I saw him, I saw a couple clips of Charlie and Mike Malac on Impulsive. That's the podcast. And it's kind of cool because like Impulsive, I think that's what like Paul, I think so.
Cool. Not cool. Anyways, but Mike's also an ex heroine addict. Okay. So like they were kind of talking about their addiction together, which was kind of cool. I guess this is rather than, he's like [00:43:00] trying to get to a point it, it's again like is this just an expose? I think it's just like showing what addiction is really like and in that way it's a great po It's a great documentary because it really does show what addiction is like.
And again, I wish I saw more of his life now. Mm-hmm. But maybe he'll be doing something else. Who knows? Hopefully. One last thing I do wanna bring up is Denise Richards. Yeah. When they were together and he was doing two and a half Men. Yeah. She. Like had a feeling that he was on drugs again. Yes. And she reported it to like the producers of two and a half men or something.
And they were all like, oh, like, no, he's not like, you're just hormonal. You're pregnant, you're hormonal. You don't know you're talking about Yeah. And meanwhile, no, he's fully on drugs. Yeah. It's just, I know. I'm like, the person that loves him mm-hmm. Is going to the people who make millions of dollars off of him [00:44:00] and is like, basically what I'm about to say is like, I need him to, I need you all to just stop this livelihood.
Mm-hmm. Like, he can't, he can't handle it. And you guys like make a different show. Yeah. Mind you, he wants to work, he like wants to be in the spotlight. He doesn't have another mode. Right. He's either like forced to be in rehab or go, go, go. Yeah. And yeah, it's just like another, like just a crazy example of like how.
The women always know and the men are so oblivious or just like, don't want to see what's in front of them. Yeah. And just wanna act like everything's okay. Yeah. Meanwhile, the women always know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a deep feeling. It's a deep mean, we know when you're off. Like it's very, it's like children knowing when they're parents are drunk, they're like, what's this?
Yeah. And I guess it's like the women, like we can't avoid it. Mm-hmm. Like when we know something, we have to act on it. Yeah. Meanwhile, when men know, they're like, oh no, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. [00:45:00] Yeah. If I ignore it, it'll go away. Exactly. And I think that that is very big in addiction too. Mm-hmm. Like men and women to be binary.
It's like men will try, try to ignore it. Like they'll ignore their friends. They'll, yeah. And I, that's where the enablement gets hard. 'cause you're like, I'm just trying to support my friend and be with him, but that makes me an enabler. Like mm-hmm. Enabling is really a confusing situation. It is. Because you're like.
Like we were talking about before, like you have to let the person go through their own journey. Yeah. Okay. So if I'm sitting here drinking all day mm-hmm. And you're my friend, or you just have to let me go through the journey. Yeah. I mean, you can make a decision whether you wanna leave or not, but like, well, I think it's kind of like, I have this friend who is drinking a lot, and all of us around her are like trying to figure out like what we're gonna do.
Mm. Like what's the level of enablement and what like boundaries can we make with her. Yeah. So that it, we're not enabling her, [00:46:00] but we're not like forcing her to like stop drinking or like whatever. Yeah. And like still be supportive and have her figure it out for herself. It's a difficult situation. Yeah.
It's, it's a tricky like. Yeah, because you don't wanna like cross the line, but you don't wanna, I don't know. Yeah. And getting older is helpful. Mm-hmm. Like that. We've been through it. It's definitely helpful. Yeah. Like when you're younger and someone's going through it, you're like, just fucking stop. Like, know what's wrong with you and then you're mad at them and, but yeah, it's like this weird, it is weird that I think a lot of friends are enablers, a lot of family members are enablers.
Yeah. Because you also love that person. Yeah. So it's, it's not as easy on like my 600 pound life when someone's bringing you chicken fingers every day. This is like, I don't know, it's like deep. Yeah. It's really hard. It's a hard, it's dealing with addiction is hard. And just to wrap up the Charlie Sheen stuff, like, I don't think like [00:47:00] we're seeing that he was a good person in like addiction at all.
No. But he's on the other side of it and I'm happy to see him on the other side of it. And I'm happy to see like what his life will be like now. Yeah. And I hope, I hope he does everything he can to be his best self. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. Let's go back to talking about our little special little boy Dominic.
Dominic like, God, he's so fucking hot. Like, I know. I just love him and like him being on Dak Shepherd, I'm like, you're exactly who I thought you were gonna be. Yeah. Adorable. Sweet. Yeah. Fucked up. I mean, he's been through a lot. Yeah. Like, you know, he's all like, he's been through a shit ton. I, I don't even know where to stir this, but it's whenever people talk about the shit that they've been through and that they're sober or that they're like, trying to be sober, I'm like, holy shit.
Like, I can't believe you wanna be sober. I know. Even though you went through all the shit, you know, I, I do the same thing. Yeah. Anytime someone's like, oh yeah. Like, my [00:48:00] parents are dead. Yeah. I'm like, oh my God. And you're so, oh my God. Drink, go drink. Yeah. I'm like, are you sure? Yeah. Like. Uh, it's, it's really crazy.
Mm-hmm. Some people who get sober, I'm like, and you had to sit with that feeling Yeah. Sober. Yeah. Fuck. Like, I just ruined every relationship I ever had. I didn't like, you know, whatever. But, um, he has been through a lot. Mm-hmm. And I feel like we kind of watched someone who is still in the middle of it. He is definitely still in the middle of it.
He's still trying to figure out like what sobriety is gonna look like for him. Yeah. And it's true, like sobriety looks different for everybody. Yeah. My sobriety is the nearest sobriety, whatever. Mm-hmm. So I think he's just like still in the middle of it, but he obviously knows that he has a problem. Yes.
And that's like the first step, right? Yeah. And he knows he has a problem. He is not interested in being sober. Mm-hmm. I don't think, from what it seemed like, it, it's like he's kind of on this cycle where he like goes to rehab. Yeah. Comes out, does a gig goes. [00:49:00] Yeah. It's also this thing. I wonder. Years didn't change that much, but my life changed a lot.
Mm-hmm. After I got sober, like my friends changed. Mm-hmm. And like my, my day changed, like everything I did was like now about sobriety. Mm-hmm. His days, he's a rock star. Yeah. He's around drugs and alcohol and women. Mm-hmm. And whatever the fuck else. He's not sleeping. He's on tour. Yeah. Yeah. So if nothing in your life changes, how would your addiction ever just change on its own?
Yeah. Like how, how, how, how could you cut out the drinking, cut out the, the drugs, but then still be on tour, still be up late, still be like horny and craving and like, I mean, I guess like he has a kid now, so that's something that's changed mm-hmm. In his life. But I think he was like talking about one of the waitresses at the restaurant that he went to.
I know. And like, even him just saying that was like, oh, you're still like, you're very much like sex. Like, oh yeah. Like you need to [00:50:00] have sex. Oh. And like you're woman, you're chasing these women. Yeah. If you didn't listen to the pod, it was like, before he like came on, he had like stopped at a, a diner or something.
Yeah. And he was talking about this waitress, and Monica was like, oh, I know her. Yeah. And he was like, give her my number, blah. Yeah, it is. I'm like, holy shit. There's, there's dopamine that you need all the time. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Can you sit and record a podcast for two hours and not be on drugs if you're a drug addict?
I don't know. I think he's definitely like, slowed down. I don't think he's like in the midst of like, like being like debilitated, but debilitated and like being on drugs all day, every day right now. Yeah. Like it doesn't seem like he was like that. He seemed very much like aware of what he was saying and whatever.
Yeah. He seemed smart and knowledgeable about his life, but so was I, I was not when I was in it. Yeah, but you but you, you can't be. Yeah. Dax asked him like. So how is it now with like substances and stuff? And he was like, it's better. Yeah, it's better. And I'm like, okay. Yeah, [00:51:00] yeah. Alright. Like, you're on your journey, babe.
Exactly. It's gonna have to stop.
Heather: Mm-hmm.
Zoe: Things like that scare me when we like a person, I like him. Mm-hmm. And I know he's doing drugs and I know that he has substance abuse issues. Mm-hmm. He does. This is not just a person who like every now and then does drugs. He's no, he's, he needs it. He's, yeah. And I love him and I wanna sit here and be like, it's okay.
He's got it under control, but nobody fucking has their drug use under control. He definitely doesn't not, he definitely doesn't. And like something will happen. Yes. And it will spiral again, like. Hopefully it doesn't, but that's just patterns that we see regularly. Um, this is where I get scared though. I know.
'cause this is where like the Liam pain of it all happens. Or the Matthew Perry's, we like Mac Miller and they already compared him to Mac Miller. And I'm like, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't, don't get that in his head. No. You know, I know. Don't do that. But it is, it is scary. It's like he's a rock star.
All rock stars do this. Everyone is [00:52:00] doing this. But people die. Yeah. People do fentanyl. People fall out of fucking buildings because they're on drugs. And I just am like, I. Would love for him to wrap up this journey as quickly as possible. Yeah. But it's on his own timeline, unfortunately. And it's, it's making me think of my friend who, um, like is sober and like, wanted to come to meetings, but she does, she's like not ready.
And now she has a therapist and her therapist is like, yeah, I used to be an addict as well, but now I have like an odd glass of wine here and there. Like, if you don't wanna stop completely, you can like one day have an odd glass of wine. Like you don't need to stop forever. And so she did have a glass of wine like Oh, a few weeks ago.
Yeah. And it was fine. She didn't drink anymore, but now it's kind of the same thing as Dominic, where it's like, it's a waiting game, like [00:53:00] mm-hmm. It. What's gonna happen next? You know? And also, wouldn't you rather just be sober so you can be free of thinking about when you're gonna be able to drink again?
Wouldn't you just like rather accept the fact that you can't have this thing and that you're better off without it and you're better than all other humans because you don't need this thing. Yeah. Come on. No, it is. It is impossible to control your drinking. And I think I get nervous if you have a problem, it's impossible to control your drinking.
I get nervous every time I say that because then stories like that will come up, be like, well, I've only had a glass of wine. I'm like, yeah, but then like she wasn't a real addict. Her therapist wasn't a real addict. But also I think that people are different in terms of their like psyche. Yeah. So like I can't do that.
Yeah. I know. It doesn't matter if I'm the happiest, most successful I've ever been. One glass of wine, I'm under a bridge. No problem. But, but I think some people. Can do it a little bit. Yeah. To an extent. But you're right, it's a waiting game. [00:54:00] Like I think, yeah, I think some people, even that therapist, it's a waiting game.
Like she could be drunk next year. Yes. Forever. You know, and die. Yes. If you, we've said this, this before, if you have to control your drinking, it's impossible for you to control your drinking. Mm-hmm. That's it. Yeah. That is just true forever. Like forever. For, forever. Forever. And it, yeah. Okay. Wouldn't you rather just be like free and just be like, Ugh, yes.
Let me just have a zero proof instead, like, this tastes delicious and I'm not feeling anxious or anything the next morning and I wake up rested. Like there is one thing I wanted to ask though. Mm-hmm. Because Dominic has a kid. Mm-hmm. And I think for people who are not addicts, I think the thought of like, once they have a kid, they should straighten up.
Mm-hmm. And get clean. Mm-hmm. And I think for some people. It is. Mm-hmm. An aha moment. Yeah. Where they're like, oh my God, I have this kid. I'm looking at this child. I think so too. And I have to be sober. [00:55:00] But what is it when that doesn't happen when having a kid? Isn't the, the life change you need and you keep drinking?
Well, I think it's also like postpartum depression, you know? Like, oh, for women? Yeah, for women. Like, you have this kid and then you don't feel connected to it all, and then you feel bad that you don't love this thing that you gave birth to, and then you have to go drink about it. Like, yeah. Alright. Well I think that's, postpartum depression is like a whole fucking thing.
I guess for some reason, because we were talking about Dominic, I was thinking more for the man. Oh. Because I feel like, uh, you hear sometimes like men will like, well men, I feel like Yeah, it's, you're not connected to it as women are. Yeah. Like the women, you have this thing like you're, you did this. Yeah.
Sorry. Men. You didn't do it all at all.
Heather: You didn't.
Zoe: It's hard. I feel like if I was a man and my wife was having a child. It would be hard for me to connect to the kid. Yeah. Because, yeah, I didn't do anything. Yeah. I think what happens sometimes I'd imagine is like, you probably think that, yeah. Like you probably think, oh, when this baby is [00:56:00] born, if I'm the man, yeah.
When this baby is born, I'm gonna get clean. Mm-hmm. It's just gonna be, it's, it's a different chapter for me. Exactly. And when that doesn't happen because you feel bad. Yeah. Because a screaming baby with no sleep and now your like partner is like aggravated and everything is difficult. You feel bad that you're, you know, shitty and you're gonna, well I think it's also like husbands love to be momed by their wife, right?
Heather: Mm-hmm.
Zoe: And then the wife is mommying the baby. Yeah. So you feel neglected and then you feel neglected too. Like, I feel like that's kind of a big part of it as well. 'cause she can't take care of. You, you grown ass fucking man. Yeah. She's taking care of the baby. Yeah. And like, I feel like that's maybe a little bit of it as well.
Yeah. And I don't really know how you, your kid turns one and you're like, holy shit. That whole year I was like, on cocaine or drinking. Yeah. I don't really remember my kids' first year. Yeah. 'cause Dominic, I kind of [00:57:00] said that, right? Yeah. And now it's like, now the rest of your life and that kid's life, you're, you've missed a year.
Yeah. The shame of that mm-hmm. Would be enough for me to be like, fuck it then. Yeah. You know? Same like, some people would go the other way. Yeah. Some people would be like, I have to clean up my life. This kid is my everything. Yeah. And then other people would be like, this kid didn't make me wanna change my life.
I'm a fucking Yeah. Loser. Yeah. So I, uh, it's, I I just thought it was an interesting point. It is point, an interesting point. Yeah. It can go both ways and I think it's very much different for like a woman alcoholic, giving birth and like a men alcoholic. Having the woman give birth. Totally. Um. I feel like, well, your friend got sober because she was pregnant, right?
No. No thought that No, no, no. Not at all. I mean, I'm sure she's currently sober because she's breastfeeding. Right. But even if I, if I was an addict, the one that you met in rehab. Oh, that one. [00:58:00] Okay. I thought I was right. Jesus thought. Sorry, I thought we were talking about You're gaslighting me. I thought we were talking about my other friend with a baby.
No, you have so many friends. So many friends with babies. Yeah. Um, uh, yeah, she got sober 'cause she had, and so did her husband. Yeah. And then she relapsed though after she did. Yeah. I think her, so I feel like that's like a cla that's like a very classic story of like, I get pre, I get pregnant, I get sober because I'm have this thing and then I give birth and I don't know what the fuck I just did.
Yeah. And so you drink like, I feel like that would be a very. I see that happening for myself. Yeah. Like, I feel like that's very relatable to me. A baby. I remember when my friend relapsed and people around me were like, but she just had a baby. Yeah. Doesn't she wanna be sober for that baby? And I literally was like, no, I, I think I said it to her mom.
Yeah. I was like, A baby is not enough. Yeah. To get someone to be sober. No, it's not, it's not a mental health cure. Yeah. A baby, a baby. Definitely not. No. That's so much pressure that would make me wanna drink a times [00:59:00] a billion, you know? Oh yeah. Well, like, I mean, don't bring babies into this world to fix your relationship.
Don't bring babies in a, into this world to like, to fix your addiction. Fix your addiction. Yeah. It's not gonna happen, babe. Yeah. Um, this is a very male heavy podcast today. I know. I really don't know how this happened. Well it's 'cause they never shut the fuck up. So then when we were off for three weeks, we're like, oh my God, they've all been working.
Yeah. Mind you, I've loved, well, I love Dominic and I love our next. Our next little boy. We're talking about our next big tall boy, our next big tall boy. PD. DP. DD, Pete Davidson. Friend of the pod. Friend of the pod. Um, he went on the, someone commented on our TikTok and was like a TikTok to, or a like a podcast talking about other podcasts.
And I was like, that's what everyone does. It's like off. Yeah. We're, this is a social commentary. Yeah. Okay. Pete Davidson. Theo Vaughn. How do you feel about Theo Vaughn?
Heather: Uh, that's exactly right. Okay. So
Zoe: when I was drinking I would listen to a lot of fucking [01:00:00] male comedy and male podcasts. Yeah. And I hate that I did that.
So like now in sobriety, I basically only listen to women. Yeah. Besides Doc Shepherd, like he doesn't count. He's one for the girls. Um, so now I like don't listen to any of the male podcasts. I used to listen to. I feel like I did used to listen to Theo Von, I used to listen to Andrew, Andrew Schultz or So Andrew Schultz.
Yeah. Which is the redhead one. Santino Schultz is like the one that got married. He's an asshole. And it's an asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and like, loves that. I don't know. I feel like I Is Theo v sober? Yes, yes, yes. Now, but he's had his spurts as well. Yeah, I think he's done like all of the drugs. Yeah. But I, I think he's like sober.
Sober now. I think I like him. Yeah. I, it's like not a person that I would choose to be my friend. It's not a person I would choose to [01:01:00] listen to either. No. Like that. I just, like, I've listened. I don't know why I listen to such like, male focused shit when I was in addiction probably. 'cause I wanted their attention, I guess.
Mm-hmm. A thousand percent. And now I like just avoid all male podcasts at all. Yeah. Yeah. Theon is interesting. I guess it's not really like my place to be like, do we like him? But he, um, it's like one of those things where I'm like, I don't. Love to listen to you speak, but I'm like, you're sober and you are speaking to a very specific group of men mm-hmm.
Who like need, probably need to get sober. Mm-hmm. So I think that that's good. It's good for the men to see that to get sober. Yeah. But where are the women talking about it? Here we are. Mm-hmm. Talking about it for the woman. Like what, who other, I guess we have some, but not like famous people talking about it in such like a big platform type of way.
Maybe Lala Lala Lala Kent from Vanderpump, but she's not really like the Right, is she a podcaster? Yeah. She has a [01:02:00] podcast, but it's like, it's like pop culture. But she like sometimes talks about, well she's sober, but it's not a sobriety podcast. Right. She doesn't talk about it like every episode type thing.
Yeah. Yeah. Got it. She did talk about it a lot in Vanderpump, which I really liked. Yeah. She like got sober early. Yeah. But um, yeah, I just feel like there's lots of men talking about sobriety right now. Yeah. As we are now talking about three men. Yeah. We need the girls to come in and talk about it more.
Yeah. Well it's, yeah, it's fun. It's sometimes it's fun to watch the men like realize things or like Yeah, that's true. They're very shocked that things happen sometimes. And it's also like watching men emote. Mm-hmm. And then they feel like, this changed my life. Like this conversation changed my life. I've never spoken about this.
I'm like, holy shit. No wonder you're fucking addicts. But they do think they're very important. Now I will say I love Pete. Yeah. Hot. Hot. How cute did he look? I honestly didn't watch it. Oh, you didn't? I didn't watch it. Okay. Fantastic. I'm gonna tell you [01:03:00] about it. Tell me about it. I got my little notebook.
There are a few things I wanted to talk about. Okay. Okay. So Pete, um, he was talking about. When he was doing substances. 'cause now he's sober. Yeah. He like went back to rehab. His girlfriend is pregnant. I'm so happy. Not his mom. His mom is not his girlfriend. He, um, I, his girlfriend's funny. Oh yeah. I still dunno who she is.
Elsie Hewitt. Okay. And she hangs out with, she's like, done that show Dave. Oh, Dave. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, I, okay. So they're funny people. Yeah, they're funny people. Funny baby. Funny baby. Um, yeah. So Pete was talking about when he was doing drugs and like losing friends. Yeah. And how at first he was like, oh fuck you, fuck you.
I don't care. Like you can't be in my life. You can't handle this. Like, this is who I am. Like really defensive and offensive, honestly. And then he starts talking about like, y and then you start losing the people that you care about. Yeah. And you're [01:04:00] like. Oh, fuck yeah. And it's like that transition. Did you ever have one of those where you were like, oh fuck everybody except, oh, now I'm losing.
Yeah. Now I'm really starting to lose things I love, I guess like my first boyfriend I lost and I was like, yeah, fuck you. Like you don't get to live in Toronto with me. Like, fuck you. Yeah. Um, and then when my friend broke up with me, like I really did care about her a lot, but I didn't have the capacity to think about it or to acknowledge it I think.
So I was just like, yeah, fuck you. You don't deserve me. I think that one stung, but I really couldn't think about it at all. Yeah. Yeah. Like I, I don't think I even like creeped her on Instagram or like, did anything to like, see what she was doing. 'cause I couldn't, like, I couldn't bring myself to do that because it hurt so much.
Yeah. Um. [01:05:00] Then that was like early, that was probably five years before I got sober. She broke up with me. So. Right. That was one of the, that was the hardest one. I think. Also, like my dad stopped talking to me like probably two weeks before I went to rehab. Mm-hmm. And that was hard as well. But again, I couldn't really process that 'cause I was too in it.
Heather: Yeah.
Zoe: Um, and at the time too, it feels like things are happening to you. Yeah. Like you're being mean to me. You're not talking to me, you're ignoring me. Yeah. Like, I'm just trying to survive. Right. Well, and I, to this friend, I was like, I can't believe you left me. Like, I can't believe you didn't, don't wanna help me.
Like you left me 'cause I'm drinking. Don't you wanna support me and help me? Like you're a bad friend. Yeah. And now in hindsight, like I did my amends to her and she was going through a shit ton too. She couldn't save me, she couldn't stick around to watch me die maybe. Yeah. So, yeah. Now I'm going to her wedding in Portugal.
So I mean, it's Right. Okay. It's such an [01:06:00] amazing thing. 'cause this is how I felt with Paige too. Like watching us, like sitting in a studio with Paige, talking about our lives. Mm-hmm. And like my life is so me focused. I'm the center of my world. And like, especially when you're in an addiction. Yeah. Like there is no capacity to talk to your friends or family.
There is none. Yeah. You can't care about anything. And yeah, like being able to sit there and listen to her perspective mm-hmm. After all of these years. And to be like, not only was she sad about me, but she was going through her fucking shit too. Exactly. She was in college. Yeah. Like away from home. It's very hard to do.
She was going through eating disorders. Mm-hmm. Like drinking too much. And so yeah. It's like, wow. Not only was like. Not only did I think like you abandoned me, like I abandoned you hard. Exactly. I did not think about anyone else in my addiction. It was only me. Yeah. So selfish of us. Um, but now I feel like I want to think of other people and I want to be like that support for other people and [01:07:00] Yeah.
Like help and in any way that I can for like all my friendships. So, and now you're a sponsor. And now I'm a sponsor. Did you put your little hand up and they said, is anyone available? Yes. You said me. I said, well, I've been saying me for a few months now. Finally you're like, hello, anyone want me? Like, look at me.
I'm so cool. What is it about me? You don't want, it must be you. It must be a you problem. Can't be me. Um, yeah. Oh, it's funny talking about college and like having bad things happen. Pete was like, 'cause Pete's dad died. Mm-hmm. Nine 11 and he was like, yeah, I realized in college that I'm like, really sad about that.
Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. Isn't that a funny thing? You like have childhood trauma, you get to college and you're. Shit. Oh shit. Yeah. And I guess I'll start drinking about this now. Yeah. It's like the only thing I know how to do. But he says now, like, now that he's sober, um, he does, he did have some friends come back.
Yeah. He said like maybe like 50% of his friends came back. And what about for you? Do you feel like you've lost any friends? I lost Paige for a little bit. Yeah. For years. That was hard. [01:08:00] Um, I feel like a lot of friends, a lot of people I was friends with from school gone. Mm-hmm. One of my really good friends, CASI, they are also a ginger.
Mm-hmm. Um, very talented. I wanna buy some of their artwork for this. Oh, perfect. But they're like, yeah, let me figure out how to do that. I have COVID, so let me figure out how to make prints nice. Perfect. Um, why did I bring that up? Oh. Because like, we were best friends and I started to get really jealous of their success.
Mm-hmm. And I was drinking and yeah, I kind of just started to like. Move away. Lots of things. Like, I feel like if I look back, I'm like, there are so many friendships that could have stayed, but Are you friends with Cassie now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like there's anyone that you've lost that like you want to rekindle with?
There is one guy. Yeah. Called Austin. Austin. And we went to school together. Why is Austin the hottest name ever? I know it, it really is a hot name. It really is a hot name. You should bring that back. Austin. Austin. We went to school together and he [01:09:00] was like the sweetest. Just one of these people that you're like, how did this happen?
Yeah. How did you, were you born so kind? And I was, had like a pretty traumatic childhood. Mm-hmm. And, um, so talented. Such an amazing person. And I was Was he a dancer? No. Musical theater. Okay, cool. Like very like very beautiful singing voice. But um, when I, we both moved to New York. Yeah. And that's when I was dating my like long distance Guatemala boyfriend.
Yeah. He wouldn't, he would like hardly let me leave the house, like mm-hmm. On the phone. It was just like, who are you with? What are you doing? And Austin and I, very toxic. We were best, like, we were almost best friends in college. Yeah. Like, we were very, very close. And um, we were supposed to meet up for coffee and my boyfriend at the time was like, oh, so you can fuck him.
And I was like, fine, I just won't have any friends. I won't do anything. I won't leave the house. And so I didn't see Austen. Yeah. I just kind of like ghosted him. Yeah. And that still hurts me. Yeah. Like, I follow him on Instagram still and like he'll post some things [01:10:00] and I'm like, damn, that would've been a lovely friendship to keep.
I mean, there is still time. I guess I could like always reach out, but I just, it was just so shit. I mean, if it's, if it's still hurting you Yeah. If you're still thinking about it. I mean, maybe he'll listen to this, but you should like, reach out to him and be like, Hey, like what I did. In college when we were in New York.
Yeah. Was really harmful. Yeah. And I still think about it and I apologize and I'm glad to see your success. I hate what that like in my life and this is just mm-hmm. The way it worked, I can't go back, but like toxic relationships ruining my friendships. I know, but like literally, I think every girl Yeah.
Has a toxic relationship that has ruined their friendships. Yeah. Like for sure. Like my toxic boyfriend, all of, well, two out of, I guess like the three boyfriends I've had were toxic and I definitely have lost friends or like did bad shit to friends throughout. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, it happens [01:11:00] like, yeah, we, I was 20.
Exactly. And like we can only live in the present right now. And that's. That's water under the bridge Bay. It's so crazy to even like ask me that question. 'cause I like, I, I really am hurt by that whole thing. Yeah. Like, I, I'm hurt that I hurt him. Yeah, exactly. Like he is like the kind of person that you really don't wanna hurt.
Like, lovely. And like that would be like an amends, right? Yeah. And we were talking about amends in the last meeting and just a way of like, sometime the smaller amends that like, aren't your parents or aren't your ex-boyfriend. The smaller ones are actually like more impactful, as impactful as the big ones.
Yeah. Because it it's small but it holds a lot of weight in you. Yeah. Well, yeah. When it's like your parents or your sister, you're like, wow. Yeah. You know, I could stab you in the throat and we're still family. Yeah. But yeah, it, it's hard to stab your friends Yeah. And come back. It's hard. It's hard. It hurts.
And now I have to like admit that I did that and like, why and all these years. And then I'm like, well, it's been fucking 10 years. Yeah. And I wasn't, he's probably not even like worried about it at all. He's [01:12:00] probably like, oh, I didn't even know what happened to you. Like, thank you for saying that. I'm glad you're doing better.
You know what, I'm gonna message him after this. Oh my God. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. Um, okay. I'm gonna just round this off now because I feel like this is a good way to end it. Okay. Talking about Pete, talking about he, you know, they're talking about all these different versions of themselves. Mm-hmm. And when they were drinking and if that's still them and if they've changed.
And I was kind of wondering
how, when did you realize, or when did you start to realize that you like yourself? Good question. Thank you. Honestly, I think probably when me and my rehab boyfriend like broke up 'cause he relapsed. Mm-hmm. And I started like diving into the steps with my sponsor.
Heather: Mm-hmm.
Zoe: I was probably like four months sober.
I feel like that's when I started to like myself and to like what I was like doing. Mm. [01:13:00] That's very nice. Like even there was glimpses in rehab where I would look at the mirror and be like, oh, okay, like we got this. Yeah. But I don't think I really liked myself yet. I was just like, I guess willing to like myself in rehab.
Yeah. Looking in the mirror. Like I do remember that, but I think the confidence and the being okay by myself really happened. Yeah. At that moment. I think you're probably onto something with the like breakups. Mm-hmm. Because I was dating my rehab boyfriend for like a year. Yeah. And that was really helpful.
Yeah, for sure. And I actually think I started to like myself in rehab. Mm-hmm. I think. I was really scared to go to rehab because I was like, I do one thing and it's drink and then it's talking. Yeah. And I don't know how to make friends or who I, I didn't even know who I was, so I'm like, oh fuck. All I've done is like, look at myself in the mirror for the past like, what, 15 years?
And be like, you're fat. You're disgusting. You're ugly. You're a bad dancer. You're this, this and [01:14:00] that. And I always felt like that's not a hundred percent true. Mm-hmm. Like I always felt a little bit of like, yeah, but you're also like a good person. Mm-hmm. And then in rehab, when I was like making friends and having a good, having a good time, I was like, okay, without mirrors.
Mm. And without anyone here knowing my past. Mm-hmm. And anyone knowing like what my body has looked like before. Mm-hmm. I'm kind of good company. Yeah. Like, okay. That's interesting. Mm-hmm. And then I think I was on such a surge when I left rehab that like, I really did start liking myself. I was like, I'm doing all of these things.
I like moved into a new house. Mm-hmm. And I'm sober. And like that was so amazing to me that I was like, no, of course, of course. You're a cool person 'cause you got sober. Yeah. Now I go through these like, you fucking idiot. Or like, I am so stupid. Mm-hmm. But like, it's not the same. It's not the same. It's not this like deep hatred for [01:15:00] myself.
It's like I feel like I was always constantly waiting for like the real me to come through. Mm-hmm. And now that I'm sober, I'm like, oh yeah, this is the real me. Yeah. And I don't like her all the time. No. But we're not perfect just 'cause we're sober, we're not perfect. Sometimes she does things and I'm like, are you okay?
Yeah. Ooh. But I do love myself. Yeah. And I honestly think I'm kind of fucking cool. You are cool. So I think like, yeah, I think within, I think pretty early on into rehab, I started like my myself. Yeah. And then you have to go through all the shit you've done and you're like, oh, I like myself less, but Yeah.
But like, you trust yourself. That's, I was about to say, probably it right when we first became friends. Yeah. I was fucking scared. Do you remember when we were walking in my car, we couldn't get into the parking garage? Yes. We were with Maddie and I was like, thank you guys for mm-hmm. Being friends with me.
Yeah. Because I didn't have friends before. Yeah. Like, I was drunk, so I was like, thank you guys for like, I was like, I know. I'm like. Not cool or like weird, [01:16:00] but like I really appreciate it. I feel like I have friends for the first time and so I'm like gonna be whatever. And I think that's so nice. That's what like sober people have to do, right?
Yeah. When they like don't know, like we, we need to communicate Yeah. As sober people and like tell everyone how we're feeling at all times. That they know Yeah. What's going on. Well, yeah, I was just like, and I think that's like, like something cute that like you needed to do and like obviously that's adorable.
And I'll always remember that moment. I know. I'm like Zoe and Maddie like keep inviting me to stuff. Yeah. So like what I've done so far is good enough. Mm-hmm. And even if it is just like, we're friends 'cause we're sober, I'm like, that's okay. Mm-hmm. Zoe thinks I'm cool enough to be in this, at this dinner.
And then I just started to actually trust that like Yeah. I was enough of a friend Yeah. To be friends. So. Yeah. You are, you are a really good friend. Oh. And I am just so happy that we have this. I know. Me too. And that our community is growing. New couch. New vibes. New couch. New vibe. New single era for me.
Yes. New [01:17:00] best friend of the single era for you. I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. I love We should on dates together. Like you should just come on the dates. I totally can. Oh, we have really fun. Me and Maddie can just like go and like hang out. Yeah, yeah. Or we could double date every first date I have.
We go with you and your boyfriend. Yeah. That could be fun. Yeah, that would be fun. They'd be like, what's this codependency? That is not we. We'll figure that out next year. We're not working on that right now. Thank you so much. Um, but yeah. Okay. Well, do you wanna go get brunch? Let's go get brunch and Yeah.
Hopefully we can talk in Italy. That'll be fun. Yeah. We'll talk in Italy. I love you. I love you. Proud of you. I'm proud of you. Proud of you. I'm proud of you. Goodbye. Next time you see Zoe, she'll be in Italy. Yeah. You'll see me in Italy next. And I'll be here. I might have a date tonight, so we'll see. Ooh.
Yeah, we, yeah, we'll see. Date, date, date, date, date, date, date. Okay.
Heather: Goodbye. Bye guys. Love you.[01:18:00]
Thanks for listening to Girl Undrunk. You can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Girl Undrunk podcast and or send me an email at heather@girlundrunk.com. That's a good point.
Zoe: That face you just made at me. You were so disgusted. You always do like crazy shit like just chew right into the mic or like slurp just.
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