#06: Only You Know What’s True
In this episode of Girl, Undrunk, Heather and Zoe explore how healing and addiction recovery are often messy, nonlinear, and deeply personal. They talk about the importance of speaking your truth in sobriety—even when it’s uncomfortable to say or hard for others to hear—and why sitting with difficult emotions can be more powerful than trying to fix or rush past them. This conversation centers on emotional healing, self-trust, and learning to honor what’s true for you without numbing or avoidance.
Listen Now and Subscribe:
Only You Know What’s True: Transcript
Heather: [00:00:00] This podcast covers sensitive topics that may be difficult for some listeners. Please take care while listening.
Hey everyone. Welcome back to Girl Undrunk. I’m Heather, your host, and today Zoe and I are diving into something that comes up a lot when we talk about sobriety. The idea that getting sober is supposed to fix everything. Spoiler. It doesn’t.
Sobriety is a lifelong process. It is about showing up for yourself again and again, especially when things are hard, messy, or unclear.
When this was recorded, we had just found out multiple safe injection sites in Toronto and across Ontario were being shut down. It felt devastating. Honestly. These places are not luxuries. They’re essential. And when supports like these are taken away, it reminds us just how unsupported many people already are.
It also reminds us why it’s important to keep talking [00:01:00] about harm reduction, community care, and the entire scope of addiction and recovery.
Because, let’s be honest, negotiating your own sobriety is hard. There’s no one size fits all. Path and uncertainty is part of it. What matters most is learning to trust yourself. You know what’s true for you, even when it feels like no one else gets it, and the more you can tune into that voice, the more sustainable this process becomes. Honestly, I’ve made sobriety my best friend. I look out for her and she looks out for me.
Something we also get into in this episode is body image and eating disorders, especially the way social media skinny TOK shapes our relationships with food control and even alcohol.
These things don’t exist in isolation. They’re often coping mechanisms stacked on top of each other, especially in a culture that teaches women to shrink themselves literally [00:02:00] and metaphorically
at its heart, this conversation is a reminder that finding the right people can change everything. Maybe it’s one friend a late night text thread, or even voices like Zoe and mine in your ears. Sometimes that kind of connection is what makes it possible to stop holding everything in and start telling the truth.
Let’s get into it. You’re listening to Girl Undrunk.
—
Heather: So just to [00:03:00] let everyone in we have a new little, we've revamped our podcast studio. It's not perfect yet, but it's in the works. We were sitting on two chairs and now we're on a, a loveseat together.
Zoe: I think it's cute and you know that I would be honest with you and tell you if I didn't like it. Like I told you, I didn't like the one pillow.
Heather: She walked into this room, not one second in this room and she went, do you love that pillow?
Hi everyone. Welcome back to Girl On Drunk. I'm your host Heather.
Zoe: And I'm Zoe.
Heather: And today is a day.
Zoe: Okay, tell me about it.
Heather: Today is a Friday. We usually record on a Sunday. So today is already a bit whimsy.
Zoe: Yeah, it's. It's a little bit crazy. We are drinking our Red Bulls
Heather: And you know me, I don't-
Zoe: we don't, we you don't do drugs.
Heather: We don't do drugs, but Monster show up as meth in your pee.
Zoe: Oh, I did not know that.
Heather: I don't know if Red Bull does. Because I remember we couldn't have energy drinks in rehab.
Which, like, I never drank energy drinks, but a lot of the [00:04:00] people were complaining about not being able to have them. And I was like, yeah, I want one too. Like, I don't care.
Zoe: I don't- I don't remember that as being a rule. I don't think I started drinking energy drinks though until after rehab. In rehab why would I need energy? I'm just like sleeping all day.
Heather: Did you guys have a lot of snacks at your rehab?
Zoe: So they made cookies like every day, and I think they would bring them out at 3:00 PM and that's what I looked forward to, like within the first week or two.
Heather: Oh, did you have a chef there?
Zoe: Yeah, we had a chef and we had like assigned kitchen duty sometimes, like maybe once every four days. I had to do the cleanup crew stuff.
Heather: Gross.
Zoe: It was nasty. I think that was the only duty that we had to do like house actually. No. Like they would come around and make sure that we cleaned our room.
Heather: Which is like fine. I get that. It's like responsibility and it's good to be consistent, but sometimes they would like yell at us. We had a laundry schedule and I never understood it.
Zoe: I [00:05:00] think they had a laundry schedule too, that it takes me a while to remember. It's so long ago.
Heather: What were you wearing in rehab?
Zoe: That's a good question. Well, one of the counselors, obviously I was her favorite and she had a lot of old clothes that she was gonna bring to Valley Village, but she was like, now bring 'em to you. And so she supported me a lot because I didn't pack any like I packed.
Heather: I was gonna say, you were pretty like fucked up until you left.
Zoe: I was pretty fucked up when I left, so I packed like basically nothing. I think I was just wearing like. Comfy clothes. I had like one nice shirt maybe
Heather: I packed- I had one big suitcase and then like two bags.
Zoe: The one friend that I made there, well the closest friend I made there, she had a bunch of clothes, so I would just like steal her shit.
Heather: That's nice. I just had like extra, extra large sweaters. And like giant leggings or like, remember one of my friends was like, oh my God, I didn't even know you had a body. I thought you were just ahead and then nothing else. I'm like, yeah,
Zoe: I didn't care until like I started liking someone there and then I was like, fuck, I wish I had cuter clothes to wear.[00:06:00]
Heather: Such a bmer. Oh God. I was about to say, but he liked you for you. That's so db. . But like, that's actually true.
Zoe: It's true.
Heather: Like I was. And my lowest of lows. And my rehab boyfriend loved me for me. And I was like, this is the nicest thing. Okay. Well first of all. Let's do a little mental health check-in.
How you doing Zoe?
Zoe: I'm doing great. No, no complaints at all.
Heather: Nice.
Zoe: I know. I feel like there's lots going on right now and there's lots to be doing. Lots of plans, but I think I'm handling it pretty well.
Heather: What kinds of plans?
Zoe: I don't know. I may have a boy coming to see me.
Heather: Oh, that is a plan.
Zoe: And that's why we're doing the podcast on Friday.
Heather: That's why. That's fun. That's really, I'm so happy for you.
I may or may not have a date on next Friday. Sunday. Next Sunday. Next Sunday, but we'll get to that, or we won't.
Zoe: We shall see.
Heather: So there's been a lot going on. I was supposed to go to dinner with Zoe [00:07:00] and Maddie last night, but I just was so overwhelmed. And also yesterday I hit my head so hard on the the metal.
My dad's gonna hear this and be like, oh, I told you to put a noodle on that. He wants me to put a pool noodle on it as if I live in like a child's fun house. That's crazy.
Zoe: Is your dad like Nick from New Girl?
Heather: Yeah, he, he, he's afraid that someone's gonna sue me. Honestly. He's not afraid that I'm gonna hurt myself.
He is afraid that someone's gonna hurt themselves and then sue me. Like, god,
Zoe: He thinks that people are over at your house?
Heather: I, I keep telling him nobody's here. And he's like, but the one time someone comes,
Zoe: But you're the one that got your head.
Heather: I hit my head so hard. I like stood up really fast and I just fell to the ground.
It was so scary. And then I always think about like women who are in the park or in their lives, and they get hit whacked in the back of their head by a man. And then it's like a murder situation. I'm like, and some women make it out of that, like some women get whacked and then they run, or like they get their arm chopped off and then they keep running and they make it out.
And I'm like, [00:08:00] I hit my head on the stairs and I was so ready to just like call it quits. It's amazing. All of that went through my head. I was like, you just hit your head. No one is coming to get you. I was in survival mode.
Zoe: No, I almost fell in the shower the other day and I, , I had those thoughts of like, oh no, like this is how I'm probably gonna die one day alone. And naked afraid.
Heather: Naked and afraid. Oh my God. I used to fall in the shower because I would shower, I would like go to meet boys at night. And so I was already drunk. And then I would shower with wine in the shower and then I never put a bath mat down because I was so irresponsible.
This happened multiple times where I'd slip and I'd grab the shower curtain and pull the, the full rod and then I'm just like on the floor, the shower curtain on my naked body and then we'll just get up and continue to shower. Just water going everywhere. God. But okay. My mental health is good.
I feel a little bit like an energizer bunny. There's been like some tragedies in my life, which [00:09:00] are- I don't know. It like makes me sad, but it also makes me feel like I'm moving really fast.
Zoe: I think. You're just like feeling nb to a lot of these things and it's something new to you to go through this without drinking.
So it's like, oh, what am I gonna do? And yeah, just keeping yourself busy is good, but it's also good to just relax and take some time, talk to those friends of yours and really just like remember them and commemorate them how you can.
Heather: Yeah, there was a, a guy from my university that passed away the other day and it was so tragic and also a lot of the people from Boston, like we all just kind of started reconnecting and talking and that was so nice. And it's like, yeah, we all were there for the same cause. Like, we love him, we love dance. It's a beautiful thing and it's really hard, you know? So young. 29. RIP. Yeah, Marquis. Love you. But the real reason my mental health is a little outta whack today is [00:10:00] because, , I, okay-
I had- how do I even say this? Pushback towards my sobriety by a person who I look up to, someone I trust. Someone I Someone in power. Someone in power.
Zoe: Which is also probably why you're not handling it well, because you've had people in power before when you were young, tell you how you should feel and that you were wrong. And this is the same thing happening. Except now it's about sobriety.
Heather: So. Basically what happened is this person, we were talking about a situation that's going on with this in in the city of Toronto with drug use and I actually had asked her, you know, I have a podcast and I, you know, I really would appreciate your voice in this, and I would love for you to one [00:11:00] day come on and talk about it, because it's something that she has a lot of knowledge in.
And then it got weird. It, she, she told me she didn't like sobriety and I said, great. That's fine. Sobriety isn't for everyone in the same way alcohol isn't for everyone, like this guy. I said my reasons for being sober, and then she kind of asked me why I think that, why I think I can't drink, and I won't get into everything that happened in the conversation-
Zoe: Well, she was saying that your mental health is good now, so why do you think you can't drink anymore and that's bullshit.
Heather: Right. So we were walking outside and. She said that sobriety puts a lot of restrictions on people, and she's just worried that me being sober and just committing to sobriety is actually detrimental.
And if my mental health is better essentially than why would I have to be sober? [00:12:00] And if everyone's listening to this confused as fuck. Yeah, me too. This is a person-
Zoe: So this is a person that is pro, what's it called?
Heather: Safe injection. So this is-
Zoe: Yeah, she's pro safe injection sites and she's pro like
Heather: Harm reduction.
Zoe: Harm reduction, yeah, that's the word.
Heather: She's very, very into it. And listen, as am I. I fully support it. I understand it. It's not for me. And that's okay.
Zoe: It is for some people, it's not for people who wanna be sober, it's not for people who want to choose to be sober. And that's the difference. Some people want to be sober and some people don't.
Heather: I got in my car and I felt a lot of things. At first I was like, oh my God, am I a fucking bitch for being sober and like being thrilled that I'm sober? And I don't necessarily promote sobriety, but I'm very open about it. And to be honest, I have to be open about my sobriety. It, it keeps me safe.
And I was like, am I the worst people who use substances, who are [00:13:00] in precarious situations, who live on the street- am I such a fucking asshole to be like, yay, sobriety when that's not accessible to everybody? But that's not fair.
Zoe: But it can be accessible for everybody too. Like everybody can get sober if they choose to.
Heather: But it's a choice.
Zoe: But it's a choice.
Heather: It is a choice and it is such a hard choice to make and the most important thing I think, to note about this situation is I'm driving home and I'm negotiating my own sobriety.
Zoe: Someone made you feel that you should have to, and not even someone, like a person in power, a person that you looked up to.
That is so scary, and I don't know how I would've handled that.
Heather: And this isn't just a person that I look up to. This is the kind of person that I think is so cool. And I would love for this person to think I'm cool and to be friends with this person. Like she's not, she's young and that's also why I was so-
Zoe: [00:14:00] Shocked.
Heather: Yes. Because I wasn't expecting, I was only expecting support, especially from someone who works amongst the community. It felt. Crazy, and I really do mean that. I felt crazy. I was driving home being like, well, I look better. I feel better. My life is improved. So what would happen if I just had one drink? Do I think maybe I would want more?
Or I'm having this conversation with my fucking self in the car, and then I said out loud, oh my God, shut the fuck up.
Zoe: Literally, she's so caught up in what she believes and doesn't know that there's a second side to this.
You don't instill sobriety on everybody. You understand that there's two sides to it.
She doesn't understand that there's two sides of it, and that is sad because she might be not telling people at these safe injection sites like, yo, if you do wanna stop, you can.
Maybe she's like, oh, you, you, you wanna stop? No. Why? Why should you? You can never stop.
Heather: That whole thing makes me nervous.
Zoe: That makes me nervous for the [00:15:00] fellow addicts and alcoholics out there. And if someone's working at these injection sites saying that, that's horrible.
Heather: Imagine going up to someone that's sober and questioning their sobriety in a way that's like, are you sure?
Zoe: Are you sure you can't drink?
Heather: I felt so gaslit.
I was like, wait, how was I really that bad? Was my alcoholism, am I an addict or is it just mental health? The fact that she was able to. Freak me out like that.
Zoe: Does she think that addiction is just mental health? Like do you think that she thinks it's separate?
Heather: I, I don't know, but I, I think there's a part of it to me that feels like sometimes I think, and not necessarily with her, but I do feel like me being sober and me promoting it feels a little bit like, oh, this is like this privileged white savior sobriety bullshit. Let me be clear about something because I don't know if we've been fully [00:16:00] clear on this podcast.
I didn't have a choice. Well, I did. My choice was to stop drinking or to die.
And that's true. I don't think that I had more than two years, to be honest with you. And that was just if my liver was gonna explode. I was going to die. I was gonna get hit by a car. I was gonna get sexually assaulted.
I was going to just have a heart attack and die. My addiction isn't less serious because I'm now sober and I have-
Zoe: You have your life back.
Heather: That that doesn't make my addiction any less serious and it doesn't make my sobriety any less serious.
Zoe: I remember in rehab and I was looking around everybody and everyone was like addicted to like way harder drugs than alcohol and they were, I don't wanna say more down bad, but they were just, I could tell that they were struggling a lot.
More than me. And I mentioned it to my counselor, I was like, I don't know if I should be here. Like everyone is so like [00:17:00] worse, and I feel like I'm taking up space here and I don't know if I belong here.
And she's like, no, you belong here. You took yourself here. You're here because you don't wanna be like those other people that are here in their forties and fifties, and that can be you in a few years. You're here now because you don't wanna be that person down the line. So it's perfect that you're here right now so that you can have your life back.
Heather: Did you feel that flip for you? Like you did.
Zoe: I felt way more confident that I was there after she said that to me.
Heather: It's funny because I hear this from a lot of people when it comes to therapy or their problems, like, do I have enough problems to go to therapy? Am I fucked up enough to go to rehab?
Like I felt that way too. I was drinking four bottles of wine. I was taking Oxy, and I was like, but I'm not on the street.
Zoe: The goal isn't to be on the street and then to get sober. Like that's not the goal.
Heather: No, I didn't wanna do that.
Zoe: We didn't wanna do that. It was close to getting there 'cause my parents were gonna kick me out probably. Like if I kept going at it a few more months, who [00:18:00] knows you know? But I took the steps to say, no, actually let's be sober. Like let's go to rehab and see what this is about.
And yeah, I guess we're privileged in the way that we got to go to rehab. We got to have that separation. But now that we're making an active choice every day, and it's hard every day,
Heather: But I would choose it every single time.
Zoe: Exactly. And if we did like have a drink tonight, maybe we would be like, okay, fine. We don't need to have a drink tomorrow. Like who knows how long that cycle would take but I promise you in 10 days, a hundred days, whatever. We're gonna be back right at the start or worse.
Heather: Nothing has ever felt more clear to me that that is true.
Zoe: Me neither.
Heather: Because even if my mental health is better, I will say my mental health isn't great. It's fine and it's a lot better than it was, but I am up and down and a all around. Like drinking is a depressant. That is just true. So it's going to make me feel depressed.
It's going to bring back [00:19:00] feelings, it's gonna bring back traa. And then I'm gonna be like this is great. I can nb everything and no one knows, and then everyone will know eventually.
Zoe: I think let's take it as an opportunity to educate this woman and that's all we can take it as. It sucks that she doesn't, that she's in these spaces and that's her point of view.
That's pretty shit.
Heather: But I'm glad you're saying this and I really do appreciate your support 'cause it was just like such a crazy, weird, stressful thing where I'm like, I've also always been the person to make mistakes. I never do anything perfectly on the first try. And when I'm really passionate about something, I feel confident.
And then when that came at me, I was like well, right. No. Right. Because I'm not good at anything and I don't know how to do anything and I backslide so quickly. And my addiction-
Zoe: You up on yourself, and that sucks.
Heather: Of course I do. But that's like my whole addiction. That's all of my traa.
And I'm working on it. I, I see so clearly how quick addiction is [00:20:00] right there beside it's like a little ghost beside me all the time, being like, oh, you wanna go? It's just, I say this all the time. Your addiction is literally just doing pushups. Exactly.
Zoe: But, , she said something to you on your two years.
And she said, oh, congratulations. I could never do that. That you didn't think was offensive or anything but when you told me that, I was like, oh, I don't like that comment. I don't like the fact that she said, oh, congratulations. I could never do that.
Heather: Well, she said, 'cause I, I said that I was two years sober and I was taking myself to Tul to celebrate. . And she said, I could never celebrate anything sober.
Zoe: Right. That's what she said. Thank you for clarifying that.
Heather: And I was like, oh and I almost wanted to say like, yeah, it's lame, but whatever. But I didn't think that,
Zoe: So that reminds me when I was at a rave with this guy and he said to me, oh, I can't believe you do this shit sober.
Like what? It's the same comment. It's not making fun of the fact that we're sober, but it's [00:21:00] being like, oh, like I could never be sober.
Heather: It's a dig.
Zoe: It's a dig. It definitely is.
Heather: It could be because he would be more thrilled if you started drinking then, because then you-
Zoe: I think he just like wanted a drinking. But honestly, I think this guy is an addict or alcoholic or both, to be honest. He-
Heather: Well, you know where to find him.
Zoe: I love an addict. I love to try to switch him up.
Heather: Yeah, fix him.
Zoe: Fix him. Let me fix you. , knowing that he was probably just struggling maybe this woman is struggling too.
Heather: Right. And that's very possible.
And I also knew that she was having a very hard day with the closures. My presence wasn't what she wanted or needed, and that's valid. , but what is also valid is that my sobriety is true to me. It's very true. My alcoholism is very real. And if you're out there listening and you have an alcohol problem that is [00:22:00] yours, it's yours, and you know you are an expert on yourself,
Zoe: Don't let anyone else tell you what is true to be you. You know what's true.
Heather: You are the only one who understands your own drinking and your own dependencies.
Zoe: Yep. You could be lying to everybody else around you but you know-
Heather: You trust yourself
Zoe: if you are an addict or not.
Heather: Yes, you do and you have to trust it. You know, I've gotten pushback on sobriety a few times or things within sobriety and it is really shocking to me that anyone,
Zoe: I wonder why no one's given me pushback on this shit.
Heather: Well, I just talk about it so much.
Zoe: I guess you do talk about
Deej: it more
Heather: I'm also immersed in like in school. In my perspective, it doesn't feel harmful to be talking about sobriety. Would I wanna have a friend who was talking about sobriety when I was in addiction? No. But. Then don't listen to me.
Zoe: Yeah, exactly.
Heather: Have you ever felt wavery in your, in your sobriety? Like has anyone ever said something to you where you've been [00:23:00] like, oh, well maybe I could. Or has there ever been a moment like that where you're like, holy shit?
Zoe: Honestly, like I'm sure there's been little moments, for example, when that guy was like, oh, I can't believe that you do this shit sober.
That was like, yeah, why am I doing this shit sober? Do I have to do this shit sober? , but that quickly was like, no, like I'm gonna prove him wrong.
Heather: I, I just feel like, don't come at me with loopholes.
Zoe: Don't come at me with loopholes. I know that there it has affected other people in my life.
Like someone said something small to the guy that I'm seeing and it made him think about it and then yeah, he relapsed.
Heather: Oh really? That's why 'cause someone said something.
It's very easy to lose the plot of your own recovery in your own story when someone's idea of it isn't serious, it, it makes you feel crazy.
Zoe: Well, I think you just have to make sure that you surround yourself with good people and as soon as that one guy [00:24:00] said that to me, I'm like, you're an asshole for saying that, and I don't wanna hang out with you anymore.
You know, like you just have to make sure that you're around good people.
And I think maybe that's why I haven't had it a lot, because the people I interact with, they know that I'm sober and yeah, they would never, ever let me drink. Ever. Like my friends say they would like beat me up before they would let me drink anything. Oh like they would punch me in the face. They would kill me before they let me drink.
And I respect that. If I'm gonna drink, I want you to kill me. Instead of letting me take the drink.
Heather: Like whatever I'm going through alcohol's not gonna make it easier, even though it probably will for like 10 minutes and then it won't.
Zoe: Sometimes when like I see certain things or hear certain things like that, I'm like, yeah, that one drink would be nice.
Heather: Okay. Right. You know? But then I like-
Zoe: Sitting outside with an Aperol spritz and a cigarette and my best girlfriend,
Heather: Oh man.
Zoe: Should we would, should do it.
Heather: We would fuck it up. What, and then what does your brain, your, your thought pattern [00:25:00] do after that? Like, you have the thought.
Zoe: I think it's just like I have the thought. I'm like, that is impossible.
It's impossible. I can't do that.
Heather: Do you do all the, like you go through the Rolodex? Like I go, if I drink, I will drink again and I will drink all night and I'll wake up in the morning covered in alcohol and I'll keep drinking and then I'll have to tell my parent.
I'll have to tell Zoe. I have to tell everyone on the podcast. It's not worth it.
Zoe: I think I just am like, it's impossible. I can't have one drink.
Heather: Okay. You're like, good at it.
Zoe: I'm, I'm gonna like the taste and then I'm gonna go crazy.
Heather: I don't know, even if I like the taste of alcohol.
Zoe: Honestly, I think I did.
Heather: I just love the taste of-
Zoe: I loved the burn down my throat.
Heather: I, I like the way it. Felt. I like that. But I don't know if I like the taste. I feel like I wasted so much time where like I could have been having a, like my first espresso martini was non-alcoholic because I love that I wasted like, my drinking years on like, just drinking like, uh, like very cheap wine to get me like super drunk and like, I could have been like doing like fun tastings or like [00:26:00] actually being intentional.
Well, yeah, I couldn't do that actually.
Zoe: I had, like I had my Italian friend that she would always be like, let's go to the Shangrila Hotel and get a Negroni and I'd be like, okay, let's go. And then I'd get like four and she would have one.
Heather: Let's get into some sober news, shall we?
Zoe: Okay.
Heather: Did you, did you listen to the Drake and Josh podcast?
Zoe: I did. I listened to it with Maddie at work.
Heather: Oh, the Good Guys. It's The Good Guys podcast with Josh Peck and I don't know who that other guy is, but they had Drake. Drake. Drake of Drake and Josh. .
Drake of Drake.
Zoe: Do we know his last name?
Heather: Drake Bell And Josh Peck.
Zoe: Josh Peck. I do remember thinking that Drake was cute.
Heather: So hot.
Zoe: Yeah, so hot.
Heather: Now Josh Peck is like more my type.
Zoe: Josh is definitely more my type. Drake, you can tell is like more struggle bussy.
Heather: Yeah, I Did you watch the Nickelodeon doc?
Zoe: Yes, I did.
Heather: Okay, so that was rough. [00:27:00]
I, you don't know the podcast, the Good Guys hosted by Josh Peck and some other guy. I'm so sorry. They had Drake Bell on to talk about, I think for the first time, the two of them to talk about what happened to Drake Bell during the Amanda Show and Drake and Josh.
That's. Hard to, it's, it's, it's a lot. They do a good job. It's not overly sad so you can go and watch. It's a two part, uh, podcast. But you, we were texting about it and you were saying that Drake looks like he's struggling a little bit. I felt like I wanted to hug him. He was doing a thing where he was like overexplaining and passionately explaining things, and I just felt like, yes, you wanna feel like that's so bad, and I just like didn't wanna feel any kind of negativity around him. I was like, you are saying the right things. I feel like you're trying.
Zoe: Yeah, he's definitely trying. I feel like there was a lot of talking around the subject matter and not talking about the [00:28:00] subject matter. Which I didn't. Like either, I'm like, just talk about rehab. Like it took him so long to say the word rehab.
Heather: I know. I think for some people, I don't know, I, I just feel like I've been in this for two years and before this I was worse. So like saying rehab and saying sobriety is like so easy for me because I was so down bad before.
But for me, I'm like, rehab, rehab, rehab. I went to rehab. Does everyone wanna talk about rehab? Like it's my favorite thing. But maybe for some people it's hard to say out loud.
Zoe: Maybe. I think he just obviously still has a lot of work to do.
Heather: Of course.
Zoe: And there's been a lot more traa that he's gone through than Josh.
So that's also a thing.
Heather: And, and they were talking about their friendship at some point, and how after the abuser was arrested, their friendship actually got better because I, I think like there was a lot of animosity towards Josh because it wasn't happening to him and Drake had to take all the brunt of it.
Drake was talking about how [00:29:00] when he eventually went to court for all of this sexual abuse stuff and he was sitting in court and he had like all the producers and actors, people he grew up with sitting on the side of his abuser. He was like, I walked in there and I started to question my sanity.
I'm like, yeah, you have all of these people that were supposed to protect you and now you are telling the truth and it is so bad and it is the truth, but how could that be the truth if all of you are on his side?
Zoe: It's such a mind fuck. It has to be. I just want people to talk about it more.
Like, I'm like, they talked about it, but I feel like they could have gone way more into depth about it.
Heather: When he finally got to talking about rehab, I wrote this down that, and it almost made me cry. Well, yeah, he said when he got to rehab, he's like talking, talking, talking, talking in the rolling hills and dah, dah, dah.
And then he is like,
Zoe: I could just relax.
Heather: I could take a deep breath for the first time in I don't know how long. And he [00:30:00] like did the breath, like he fully like, and I just felt that I was like that's why rehab is so important. You like, take yourself away from all the chaos and confusion of alcohol or drugs. And I was just like, I remember that.
Zoe: Did you have that moment in rehab?
Heather: I, I had that moment when I called to admit myself. I was like I'm going, okay and now it's okay because somebody else has me.
Zoe: Got it.
Heather: I had the-
Zoe: It's off of myself. It's for them to deal with for me.
Heather: And I was like, I am, I, I really felt infantalized in that moment.
I was like, I am a baby. And I'm just gonna let the universe do what it needs. I have already made the choice. After that I was like, I think I'm gonna be okay.
Zoe: I don't know if I had- when my relax let go moment was in rehab. It probably was like the second day where I hadn't gone outside yet.
Like I was just smoking right in the front and not [00:31:00] going to any of the meetings or classes or anything and I was-
Heather: How long did you do that for?
Zoe: I think I was in my room for maybe three days before I like went to see everybody and like participate in everything.
Heather: Were you detoxing?
Zoe: I was detoxing also, they, I think like the third day, they were like, you can come out if you want and I was like, I am too scared. But maybe it was the second or third day and I was smoking a cigarette and these girls walked past me and they said hi to me.
And I was like, okay, I think I'm gonna be okay. Like there's other people here that are like me. I'm not alone here. They seem nice.
Let's try to embrace this, I guess. Especially when you're in like rehab or meetings like everyone is gonna be nice to you, no one's gonna be rude to you.
Heather: Okay Next Little news seggy...
Remi Bader was in the news recently. She went onto Khloe Kardashian’s [00:32:00] new podcast to talk about what’s been going on with her, her mental health, her weight.
Remi is an influencer famous for posting plus size content on TikTok, and she was doing that during the pandemic. Her fan base was great. Her followers are a lot of people and a lot of like plus size people who really appreciate her content. and then in 2023 she went on. Ozempic, it was making her like throw up every day. So she got off of it. She went to all of these programs. She tried to go back on Ozempic that was making her sick again. She went to Mounjaro After that, that’s when she went to her rehab.
Zoe: Yep.
Heather: For six weeks. She got out and she was like, okay, I'm not just gonna be fat and miserable for the rest of my life.
Zoe: So how long has she been the skinny, like how long ago did she do that surgery? Two years? I think so.
Heather: I, I think 2023. She put out a video on her TikTok [00:33:00] saying, I'm no longer gonna talk about my, my weight loss or my mental health, or my journey in that sense.
Which is great, whatever 'cause she was getting a lot of hate, a lot of backlash. I mean, that girl didn't go one day without somebody hating on her body. Like what a brave person, but holy shit.
Zoe: But she was famous for being a body positive woman.
Heather: You know? It never felt to me like she was okay- this is, I, I don't wanna make a criticism about Remi.
I like her a lot and I, you're allowed to have a life outside of the internet. You're allowed to make your own choices and not be dictated by whoever.
Zoe: And maybe her content wasn't aligning with how she was feeling, and that's fine. I'm sure a lot of people's content isn't aligning to how they're actually feeling.
It's a lot of content is just fake. We all know this.
Heather: Remi was mentioning that her mom has like, made a lot of comments to her about her weight and they would do like faab diets together when Remi was like young and growing 'cause Remi was always like in a bigger body and Khloe was like, oh [00:34:00] like same. But listen, they were doing their best. It was so toxic, but they were doing their best. And like all of those things were so detrimental to us and they, you know-
Zoe: Talking about her mom, Kris?
Deej: Uhhuh and I am sitting here like well, we have learned nothing, have we? Because your whole family is the reason that everyone's on ozempic, that everyone's gotten a BBL that everyone, that a lot of women kill themselves at the gym for that body. That's not real.
Zoe: That's not existent.
Heather: But Chloe saying that to me felt so out of touch and I'm like, yeah, you're also still in your trauma.
Zoe: They are out of touch. Of course they are. All the Kardashians are of touch. How could they be in touch? Like it's the Kardashians? I don't know.
Heather: I don't know. But Remi then went and got this thing called SADI, and it's a new surgery and it takes out 80% of your stomach and it's-
Zoe: Very dangerous surgery.
Heather: It's like a gastric sleeve, but a gastric sleeve. It's really quick, but this one is like 80% of your stomach and something else, I don't really know. You can [00:35:00] look it up. So that's what she did and that's why she's thin now and I, I feel different things towards it. I feel happy for her.
Zoe: I feel happy for her. I am
Heather: I feel sad for her fan base a little bit because it was like, yeah, maybe plus size is okay. And then it's like, plus size is only okay if you don't have access to-
Zoe: To a million dollar surgery.
Heather: Exactly. Or a sponsored surgery.
Zoe: I think. Happy for her. I'm happy she's talking about it now, because a lot of those girls who are like, oh wait, what happened?
Why can she get skinny but I can't? Probably are like, oh, I am not working out as much. I'm not doing this as much. How did she do that? Yeah, I'm not enough. She's so much better than me 'cause she's got skinny and I can't get skinny.
But no, it's unrealistic. Just like the Kardashians. Everything is fake.
Heather: And what is it like doing to your self-worth as a viewer? And again, this is not to put this on Remi at [00:36:00] all, because Remi has had eating disorders. Remi has-
Zoe: I'm sure she's not like perfectly unhappy right now either. Like it is a lot to, well, and that's the other thing, it's like being skinny doesn't make you make you happy.
Heather: It, it doesn't change everything.
Zoe: No
Heather: It doesn't make your life better. It can help. I mean, she says things like, oh yeah, like, I can get up better now. I can work out. That's great. I, I worry for her fan base that's like I thought we mattered. I thought my self worth didn't have a lot to do with my body, and now the person I look up to is just like everyone else.
Zoe: So Lizzo also is someone like that, that was very body positive and is now getting skinny, not as drastically as Remi and she posted something about the whole skinny talk of it all.
Heather: Skinny talk.
Zoe: Skinny talk.
Heather: What was she saying?
Zoe: She basically was saying how disrespectful [00:37:00] skinny TOK is.
And she was saying a lot of you are gonna say, I shouldn't be the one talking about this because I'm skinny now.
Like calling it out. Which I love that she called that out. But she said, this is exactly why I should be talking about it, and just said how insane it is to be having that on TikTok access to these young girls.
How detrimental it is for everyone's mental health.
Heather: Skinny talk is this new trend on TikTok, so it's skinny, TOK, and it's basically pilates girls. It's matcha. It's, it's the female lore, but it's all about being skinny and I, and not just like under the guise of it. It's literally Liv Schmidt. .
Her whole TikTok, she has so many followers and it's literally about being skinny and bashing you if you're fat and in like a slight way. Like why are you guys fat? Like, did you knock go Pilates? Or like,
Zoe: and it's like we've come full circle.
Heather: Full circle,
Zoe: [00:38:00] Haven't we? Jesus.
Heather: Now it's just, and it's funny listening to Khloe be like, oh, my mom's like way of like that fad dieting in the nineties was so toxic.
And I'm like, what we're doing now?
Zoe: It's not better.
Heather: It's not better. And if you go to Pilates every day and have a matcha and don't have a job, your life isn't going to be great.
Zoe: Damn. But I think mine would be so much better if I could just get a match and workout.
Heather: Of course. Because it looks good.
But then what's happening there, your whole life is about being skinny.
Zoe: It's also an addiction by the way, being this obsessed with how much you weigh and how much you're going to eat. Being obsessed with food, that having it all you, you think about that is an addiction. I thought about alcohol every day, the same way that these girls think about food every day, all day.
It's an addiction.
Heather: Well, and that's the thing, right? I saw someone come on TikTok and say, wait, Liv Schmidt, and I'm not gonna say what the theory is or what Liv Schmidt says, 'cause that's so triggering for me, but the way that she's like, it's actually easy. It's just [00:39:00] basic and you just cut this in half or whatever, and you can eat whatever you want.
Okay. That works. If you don't have any kind of addiction or traa in your body.
Sure. If you just said to me when I was going through my eating disorder, just eat less and work out more, I'd be like, what the fuck do you think I'm doing now? I'm doing a thousand things. I'm taking laxatives, I'm throwing up, I'm counting things, I'm overcompensating, I'm doing this, I'm doing that.
Zoe: Like it's. These girls think they're better than other girls because they can be skinny.
Heather: It's under the guise of health and wellness, but it really is about self-worth. And if you're thin, you're active, you're successful, you're doing things. If you're fat, it's just because you're lazy and you eat too much.
It's disgusting.
Zoe: If you were, and you're eating disorder right now, and you had TikTok, what would it make you feel?
Heather: Oh my God. It would make me feel like a huge fucking loser, because also it's like being an alcohol addict. You're going to get your shit whether whether you have money or not.
You're gonna [00:40:00] do stuff that if you can't afford it, if you can't go to Pilates, or you could be me, and I was living in New York and I was only gonna spend class, and I couldn't afford to do anything else, and I was like, well, as at least I'm skinny. Like, you're going to figure out a way to do it, and it's gonna make you sick because listen-
you're not gonna look like Liv Schmidt. If you just like go to Pilates once a day and have a matcha, you might, but you're also gonna go through a lot of bullshit in your head. You're gonna be looking at your body, you're gonna be body checking. It's not good.
Zoe: When you are going through eating disorder where like on Tblr, a lot like?
Heather: Yes.
Zoe: Was that kind of, is that the same as what Skinny TOK is now for these young girls?
Heather: Yes, yes. But the difference I think, is that it's so out in the open. And when Nicole Richie and them, when they were really skinny when we were growing up, we knew that was bad.
Like we knew they had anorexia and I wanted to look like that. But we knew [00:41:00] that that was bad. What's happening now on Skinny TOK is like it's a thing that we're striving for. Everyone is trying to be skinny.
Zoe: And it's such a fine line between skinny and anorexic these days.
Heather: It is.
Zoe: It's a thin line.
Heather: I actually I wanna ask you, because you have said that you did not deal with an eating disorder growing up, or not in the traditional sense?
Zoe: No.
Heather: Okay. So when you see the skinny TOK what does that do for you? Because I know what it does for me and it's a lot going on in my system.
Zoe: It's just sad. I think about how I would feel growing up right now. Like that's not a positive influence on young girls. And I know that in this day and age, people still value what they look like so much. I'm glad that Remi's speaking up about how she got skinny because yeah, it's impossible if you're that weight, like to get so tiny, it's impossible.
And yeah, it was, she admitted it. Lizzo, she's gradually doing the weight thing. She hasn't opened about, I don't know if she's opened up about [00:42:00] being on Ozempic or whatnot.
Heather: I think. Yes. I think she's on one of them she just said.
Zoe: But she just is like working out all the time. She's always in her gym gear.
Heather: She was also pre-diabetic. So like
Zoe: she has to
Deej: Yeah, it makes sense.
Zoe: It's just like what these women do with their bodies also is not really up to us.
Heather: No. It also is a thing that's very expensive. It's like a thousand dollars plus in the states per month. And it's it's not accessible to everybody.
Zoe: It's not accessible.
Heather: And so we're saying like all of these people that are on Ozempic, they're thinner now. Their self-worth is higher. So what about everybody else? And also being skinny is not gonna make your whole life better in the same way that getting sober, sober does not make your whole life better.
Zoe: What a transition.
Heather: Thank you. I'm working on them.
When you went into rehab, you said that you didn't necessarily know that this was the end of drinking. This was just like, I'm doing this, I'm coming in because I don't wanna die. When did you realize, like, [00:43:00] okay, sobriety's for me?
Zoe: I think probably, maybe midway through rehab. Or like post closer to the end of it.
Heather: Well, that just scared me. So were you in rehab being like, nah?
Zoe: I was in rehab being like, okay, we'll see how this goes.
Heather: Okay. Wow.
Zoe: Until, I guess the conversations that people were having resonated with me and I was regaining brain cells. I was like listening.
Heather: Firing on all fronts.
Zoe: I was like listening finally. And I don't know. I could like have my own thoughts again, and then I was like, okay.
Heather: There's this, there's this thing that I've heard, and I think that if you're not ready to go to rehab, it's not gonna work. I guess you were ready to go.
Zoe: I was ready to go because I couldn't- I didn't wanna die.
Heather: You just weren't necessarily ready to stop or knew you had to stop or,
Zoe: I didn't know what the end goal looked like.
I was ready to do anything. I think that's what it is. I think I was just ready to do anything that I was [00:44:00] told and I did everything that I was told and I'm here.
Heather: And did you think that, was there anything in your life where you're like, oh, this is gonna get immediately better? Were you fantasizing about that?
Zoe: I mean, I gotta say, I thought maybe my relationships with my family would be way closer because of it. And like, yeah, we're better now, but are we as close as I thought that we would be?
No, because it still takes, it takes more than two years .
Heather: Do you feel like, you can feel that there's a strain on your relationship?
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: Okay.
Zoe: I can just see that the hurt is like obviously still there and it's hard to connect I think maybe because we connected over booze.
Heather: Okay.
Zoe: Now they still drink and I don't, so maybe there's a disconnect there.
And when they come down and they don't drink for like the one night that they come down to see me, I know [00:45:00] they probably don't want to drink, but all I'm thinking is, oh, they probably just wanna drink right now. And they can't because I don't drink and now I'm lame
Heather: I know it's hard with your parents when you're like, I'm just trying to be perfect and make you guys like me, and
Zoe: It's, it's so different that with my family than my friends. It's so different. I wish it wasn't, I wish it was as easy as it was for my friends, but I guess it's just because I talk to my friends about everything and I don't talk to my family about everything.
Heather: Okay. Interesting.
I, I think I always. I think that things are gonna fix me.
I'm here for a get rich quit scheme. I'm here for a fix your life scheme. I used to do cleanses like juice cleanses while I was actively drinking four bottles of wine. I was like, but this will help. I don't know why. I really thought like if I do a juice cleanse for three days, I'll be, my body will be perfect and everything will be perfect.
When I left rehab, I was probably like 60 pounds heavier than I am now, to be honest with you. I went to dinner with my girlfriends [00:46:00] like a week after I got her to rehab, and when my jeans didn't fit, I was a piece of shit. I didn't wanna go out with the girlfriends. Why am I even sober?
Okay I'm sober now, but I'm still fucking disgusting. Like no self worth at all. I disappoint myself because I do think that still, I think that everything's gonna get better if I just do this one thing. I was worried about the podcast. I was like, when we start the podcast, I'm gonna feel better.
I'm gonna feel like I have passion towards something. Luckily that's stuck. And now I'm like so passionate and excited to have sober Wednesdays. It's very fun.
Zoe: I'm not a future thinker. I was just taking it one day at a time.
Heather: I try to do that now and that's definitely something they reinforced for us with everything, not just alcohol, it's like everything is slow. Everything is a day at a time. Just stick with it. And, and know that it's not gonna be perfect. But it's really the one thing I've stuck with that has made my life so much better.
Zoe: I think this is like the [00:47:00] one thing too that I've stuck by and even me going to meetings, I stopped going to meetings maybe last year for six months.
Heather: Why?
Zoe: Because I just thought that I didn't need it anymore.
Heather: Okay.
Zoe: And I thought I was too busy and I didn't have the time for it. Whatever. And then something happened with me and my friend group and I almost drank in Sarnia last summer. I was very close. I opened my parents' liquor cabinet, going to like take a bottle and then I went to get the Diet Coke instead. And in that moment I knew as soon as I got back to the city that I needed to go to a meeting again. And I did. And ever since then, I've been going to one meeting a week and I now accept that I have to do that for the rest of my life and I'm fine with it.
Honestly. Now there's a good group of girls that go. When I was going, [00:48:00] like over a year ago, before I stopped, I didn't feel like I had that like good group of girls. I was more friends with the boys. And maybe that was just me like wanting the male attention. And now coming back into it, I'm like, that's not what I want at all.
So now I feel way safer in it. And I feel like it's more my own.
Heather: That's growth babe.
Zoe: That is growth Babe.
Heather: Personally, if you're a woman, I think sober girls are really important to have. Sober girlfriends, how you make them? Well, you walk into a clinic and you tell everyone you're sober and then someone there will be like, I'll be friends with you,
Zoe: I'll be friends.
Heather: 'Cause at the end of the day, the girls are the ones that are gonna support you.
Zoe: You can't talk about the shitty, slutty things that you did with your sober guy friends. They're just gonna like jerk off to that later on.
Heather: And with you, I trust your intentions with me. I know if I tell you something you're not just gonna use, use it.
Zoe: Do you trust my intentions?
Heather: Well, I don't know. Zoe keeps trying to get me to go on vacation.[00:49:00]
Sometimes. We talk about transfer addiction and all these addictions on social media and shopping and Pilates. Do you think that you can be addiction free? Personally, you.
Zoe: No. I try to do everything intentionally and I try to do everything in little spurts and not to have too much of anything.
Heather: Okay. you're actively doing that?
Zoe: I actively am making that choice 'cause I'm like, if I do this too much, I'll be addicted to it. If I do that too much, I'll be addicted to it.
Heather: Can you gimme an example?
Zoe: Sex.
Heather: Okay.
Zoe: Working out.
Heather: Working out.
Zoe: It's all about having balance and it is important to have balance because it is easy for me to really get into one thing and focus only on that thing.
And I know that about myself, like I know that I am an addict.
So it's just like being careful with that.
Heather: I'm [00:50:00] the same way to my core. I, I knew that there was a moment. I think just before the smer where I was like, am I a little bit addicted to Pilates? And then I took a day off and I was like, okay, I am a little bit addicted to Pilates because I'm feeling a little bit negative about myself. I was feeling like I was lazy for not going. And I was like, this. This is what I don't want.
I have to allow myself to breathe. Yes. I have a lot of restrictions on drinking. That's fine. Everything else, I'm like, you can't get too regimented. It's not necessary.
Zoe: Like I don't do, I don't work out every day. The only thing that I am currently still addicted to is smoking cigarettes.
Heather: Sure. But the difference in smoking cigarettes, and not that I like it, but the difference is that it doesn't change your cognitive ability to-
Zoe: I think I would have to deal with some situations differently if I didn't smoke.
Heather: Okay. What do you mean?
Zoe: Because I feel like when I get really stressed out in certain situations, I'm like, [00:51:00] okay, it's fine because I'm gonna have a cigarette in like half an hour or it's fine because I am gonna smoke soon. If I didn't have that, it would be different.
I would be way more freaked out and like bubbled up inside. If I didn't have that release.
Heather: Was smoking cigarettes a big part of your drinking as well?
Zoe: Yeah.
Heather: But do you ever feel triggered by cigarettes?
Zoe: No.
Heather: Wow.
Zoe: No, because I don't like smoke. Honestly, when I go out to like raves or clubs, then I'm usually smoking way more than on a day that I'm not, like on a regular day I'm smoking five cigarettes.
Okay. If I go out with my girls, it's probably like 10 cigarettes because I'm like smoking more because they're drinking and we're going outside and yeah, it's something to do with people who are drinking. So I'm having more cigarettes and then the next day I wake up and I can taste that I had more cigarettes that day.
And that is what kind of triggers me 'cause I'm like, oh, that's what it used to taste like having a [00:52:00] hangover and like smoking way too much the night before. But meanwhile, when I was drinking, I was probably smoking 20 cigarettes a day.
Heather: In your bed?
Zoe: In my bed.
Heather: Okay. Interesting.
Zoe: So that the morning after, when I have that taste in my mouth, yes, but on a day to day, no.
Heather: Do you ever wake up and have that taste in your mouth and be like, huh, did I drink?
Zoe: Sometimes.
Heather: It's like those little morning triggers before your brain fully understands what's going on. It's like, and it's-
Zoe: Also like, how did I wake up like this every single day when I was drinking? This tastes horrible.
And how was I making out with someone with this horrible breath mixed with booze? Disgusting. It was a little disgusting rat.
Heather: I was also a disgusting rat. God was I, I was when I was alone. Like I just like so much throwing up, so much lying down in the shower like oh my God. And then somehow still having like such a thriving sex life.
Actually that wasn't a thriving sex life. That was just like she was a sex life. She was just out of the house and [00:53:00] whatever.
Zoe: No. I think even with sex too, like I realized that I like it a lot.
I like having sober sex.
Heather: What do you like about it? Like do you like the way it makes you feel, like emotionally, or do you like the physical act?
Zoe: I feel like I like it all. I feel like I like how I feel after because it is like an endorphin. I like how I'm not thinking about anything during it. I like having the control of saying like, yeah, I wanna fuck. It's, I am, I feel like I'm the one having sex. People aren't having sex with me.
Which I love.
Heather: And that's a very big difference in sobriety.
Zoe: I fucking love it. I've had sex with a lot of the guys that I had sex with when I was drinking. I've went back and had sex with them sober, just to like, know what it was actually like. Fucking sucks.
Heather: She's a scientist. She's doing an experiment.
Zoe: I'm doing my research okay.
Heather: And it wasn't that good?
Zoe: No. [00:54:00]
Heather: I mean, I was making sure those boys thought they were doing a good job 'cause I was faking orgasms left, right, and center.
Zoe: I don't think I could feel anything.
Heather: Oh, not, nothing at all. I felt nothing. The whole, the only thing I was doing was like trying not to fall asleep.
Being sober. It looks good. It feels good. But that's not where it ends. There's work every day
Zoe: Continually.
Heather: And that's why we say like it is a choice because you're not just making the choice to be sober, you're making the choice to live your life as a sober person and that. It is a very different way of living.
There's so much work every day. From the time I get up in the morning, my day is planned around keeping myself sober but somehow that work makes me so happy. Like it doesn't feel like it definitely is a challenge.
Zoe: It doesn't feel like work. And that's kind of like what people say at the meetings too.
Like it is work to go to the meetings. It's work to do the steps. It's work to sponsor other girls. But it's not [00:55:00] work because it's giving you life. It's giving you a purpose.
Heather: Once you start taking care of yourself, you wanna take care of yourself more.
Zoe: I agree. I think you can start slow.
It doesn't have to be a immediate, you're doing all these things and then you're happy.
Zoe: It's a process. It. It's not an immediate fix. It takes time and you try one thing and it doesn't work. You try another thing. It's life isn't perfect. Just because we're sober doesn't mean we're perfect.
Just because we're sober doesn't mean we're happy all the time.
Heather: No.
Zoe: But I am so content with my life and I know if anything, I'm sober and that makes me happy when I see my eight o'clock reminder that I'm sober. That makes my day and that's what I'm living for.
Heather: I love doing my LED mask at night and having water and, well, I don't drink water. What am I talking about? That was such a lie. Such a lie. Such a lie. I do my LED mask and I'm like, I've made it through another day. [00:56:00] Some, I don't always think that, but sometimes I'm like, look at you go. You're just doing another day, not drinking. And I, it's so unfathomable to me. Like I put in so much fucking work and I'm here now and I'm still doing it.
It is hard. And do you ever, does anything ever happen and you just sit on the floor and go like, oh, really I'm sober and I have to fucking do this shit? Like, does that ever happen? I feel like you're actually pretty even keeled.
Zoe: I mean, when, like, I thought I lost my sunglasses, like when I, I disappoint myself with little things like that, but I know it doesn't really matter and I'm just a drama queen and like, I like being a drama queen, so it's like it doesn't matter at the end of the day. Like this is just who I am and I actually like myself, so.
Heather: And it's better, it's better to get those emotions out too. Like that's another thing we've learned. It's just like, ugh, speak your emotions.
Say how you feel because keeping them in is like literally not helping anyone.
Zoe: And when I don't get my way to it still fucking bothers me.
Heather: I mean, when a man rejects me, I'm [00:57:00] like, oh, I guess I'm just not right for this world and I'll leave.
Zoe: And we're working on that.
Heather: And we are working on it every day.
We are working on in therapy. I think just the work of sobriety is really the point and that yes, it doesn't make everything magically better, but it does make everything better.
Zoe: Yeah, it does.
Heather: It does. And it makes it easier. And once you get sober, you're like, oh God, there's so much work for me to do.
Should I stay sober? And you're like, 'cause you've never been able to do that work on yourself before.
Zoe: But also it's not like day one, day two, you're not thinking about that. You're just trying to keep survive. Surviving. So it does take a while and it, it takes sometimes like years for people to realize that, oh, this is what I want. Uh, it looks different on everybody. Everyone's sobriety is different.
Heather: It is so hard. You have to keep yourself safe because it makes it harder when people have opinions about your sobriety, and it's normal to fluctuate with your thoughts. It's normal to be all over the [00:58:00] place with how you feel about sobriety, when you're thinking long term or when someone gives you pushback, someone you respect, someone who's not where you're at with sobriety.
Zoe: It's good to question things.
Heather: Sure.
Zoe: But you have to believe in yourself as well. And take it in. And put it back out.
Heather: If you wanna be sober, you know why. Take care of your own sobriety.
Zoe: Period.
Heather: Period. And listen to the pod. We got you.
Zoe: We got you, baby. Proud of you.
Heather: Proud of you.
Bye bye.
—
Thanks for listening to Girl Undrunk. You can follow us on Instagram and TikTok @girlundrunkpodcast or send me an email at heather@girlundrunk.com.
And before we go, thank you to our amazing producer, Arian Michaud, and support from her team at Consciously Produced. Martin Nuñez-Bonilla for the graphics. Ian Sitt for setting up our sound, and Daniel James for the music and final edits. This podcast would not be possible without you.
#GirlUndrunk #SobrietyJourney #AddictionRecovery #HealingIsNotLinear #SoberVoices #RecoveryPodcast #SoberCurious #EmotionalHealing #SpeakYourTruth #LifeWithoutAlcohol #WomenInRecovery #MentalHealthMatters #AlcoholFreeLife #SelfTrust #HealingOutLoud
